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I knew there had to be a blog like this somewhere… I love Freecycle, it is an endless source of neat stuff and entertainment.
Below I’ve compiled some of my favorite wanteds from the great state of Maine. All are just as they appeared.
WANTED: Wheelchair and Cage
[uhm, yikes.]
WANTED: Cow Trough. I’m looking for a cow trough or something simular to put my chicks in. Thanks!!
[I hate it when I run out of places for my chicks!]
WANTED: Old stove. Looking for a cooking stove from the fifties or sixties – does not have to be in working order and in fact, the junkier it looks, the better. Well okay, it can’t be completely rusted out, but if it looks old and tired, that would be perfect.
[Value of said stove: oh, about $800, easy.]
WANTED: 4 egg, egg poacher.
Please it must not smell like the cellar thanks
I have a 2 egg pocher for the microwave the egg gets too rubbery ,,
[Depends, what does the cellar smell like?]
WANTED: sunfish sailboat w/trailer if possible
I’m looking for a light, recreational sailboat to sail the ocean bay with! I’ve been looking for a boat for months.
[Retail value: $1000 – if you can even find one]
Thanks for these beauties. You are freakruited!
How did you find us?
Another Freecycler sent out the link – folks have a good sense of humor up here ;)!
Just another reason to love Maine! Thanks for subscribing. Tell all those folks about Freakcycle and we’ll love you even more than we do now. We are on Facebook too. Fan us up! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fans-of-Freakcycle/293669061627?ref=ts
OH MY GOD, I have a gem for you:
WANTED: Egg incubator (Limington, So. Maine)
I am looking for an egg incubator so my grandaughter, who is almost 4, can see where chickens come from. She has been asking me and I don’t think se believes they come from eggs. Thanks to anyone who can help.
Sincerely,
Bob
Wanted: Goat
Okay!
Photo:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l1tcftHsif1qbbm9po1_1280.png?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1272988758&Signature=TEiUeVBc93S8mgglJ5AfUjuD%2BtE%3D
Thanks for submitting. Did you see our other goat post?
Here’s the one about the dogs you asked me to pass along:
“I am looking for a tarp in good condition to shade my dogs in their kennel. They are not liking it and the barking is too much, so now I need some No Bark Collars.”
Seriously, you think that a tarp and some no bark collars are going to fix the barking? People are serious dumbasses sometimes. Those poor dogs. 😦
WANTED: army of PETA volunteers to wallop this idiot’s ass.
Thanks for submitting. We’ll shame them proper.
Wanted West Bridgford Starsky and Hutch Cardigan
Posted by: “wot_the_8888” wot_the_8888@yahoo.co.uk wot_the_8888
Tue May 18, 2010 4:33 am (PDT)
Any big cream belted man’s cardigan with black fairisle pattern across chest and hem line would be great. For son’s mad old banger rally from London to Estonia!
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Messages in this topic (1)
How specific?
Starsky and Hutch. I am picturing that sweater in my mind’s eye and remember taking quite a fancy to it. Could use one now actually since it’s cold and rainy out. Thanks for submitting.
Personally I think these sound like “choosy beggars” but will let you decide (all from the same day):
=======================================
WANTED: Boat trailer (Portland area)
Message # of xxxxx
Must be able to hold a 2400 pound boat. Will travel. Thank you
… and from the same poster …
WANTED old running vehicle with title but not road worthy (town)
Message # of xxxxx
Thank you!
———————————————————————-
WANTED: woodturning lathe and/or tools (Portland)
Message # of xxxxx
Looking for a lathe and accessories – gouges, chucks, faceplates, etc. for a new turner. Will be happy to take them off your hands if they’re just collecting dust!
((FYI: you don’t get a decent lathe for less than $2000 … & that doesn’t include any accessories))
———————————————————————–
WANTED: computer notebook (Portland)
Message # of xxxxx
hi, looking for a used notebook for photoeditting. ***
thanks in advance.
***EDITED to meet guidelines
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
———————————————————————–
vehicle
Message # of xxxx
hi,im trying to find a dependable vehicle for a man who has quiet a story to tell.the obstacles this man has faced and still facing has been well i dont have enough space to write them all down.he has 3 kids 2 boys one girl.he is going
through a divorce.among other things i cant tell only if someone requests info to help him.im trying to find him help with a vehicle.reliable he has a van but the motor went maybe someone out there has a old one.his story will amaze all of you.i have helped him in the past he repays me in small ways but i cant tell you how happy it makes me feel to know someone struggling himself is so grateful.so
please i implore all of you be it a tax write off or you have a dependable vehicle you can offer or a motor please email me.thanks for reading.
———————————————————————-
What a goldmine! Definitely on the money with the choosy beggar category but that last one is a TMI one, for sure. Thanks so much for sending these to us. Look for them in a future post.
This just came through…I am laughing:
“Anyone have an extra cat? Contact Pam at PRobison@XXXXXXX.com.
You would be assured it was going to a good home.”
Wanted-(town)/remote control toys
Message #xxxx of xxxx
Hi, does anyone have any remote control vehicles they’re not using anymore? I would put them to good use. I will even take helicopters.
((note: good remote-controlled helicopters go for about $400))
REOFFERED, due to alien abduction household plants
Well what other explanation can there be, when you offer someone plants on Sunday, leave them outside the house from Wednesday, and neither see or hear from them ever again!!!
1 x peace lily, and one easter cactus – now DESPERATE to be taken, as it has been wrapped in foil, outside the house for 5 days!!!
Manchester, England
I love this blog!
http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com
Ah, the old alien abduction bit. That’s a good one. Thanks for submitting! How did you find us?
[…] Submissions […]
Oh, I see I’m completely retarded and should’ve posted here instead of linking you to the posts via Twitter.
Here’s the airplane shell:
WANTED: Shell of old airplane for elementary school
I know this is an odd request but I am building an elementary school and we’d like to hang a small (But full size) plane aircraft from the structure in the library. I don’t know where to begin when looking for an airplane so I thought I’d start here.
Any help would be appreciated!
And, the bullet proof vest:
Wanted: Bullet proof vest
My boyfriend is training for private law enforcement and is in need of a Kevlar (bullet proof vest). I know it’s an odd request and probably a long-shot, but these are extremely expensive in the stores ($600+) and we just don’t have it
right now. His training involves real dangers, so I am worried and just trying to find a vest for right now until we have the $ to buy a good one.
Hoping to find a former police/security officer with an old one to spare or similar scenario.
It would be much appreciated, and will be put to use for the public good.
Thanks. Located in [blah blah blah] but will travel for this!
Thanks for sending these fine posts! You don’t see wanteds for airplanes and a bullet proof vests on Freecycle too often!
I think my local freecycle group in Klamath Falls Oregon is crazy!
1.
Wanted: Refrigerator and major Appliances for kitchen. Must work and be in good condition (for my renter’s insurance guidelines)
2.
Wanted: Washer
Im hoping someone out there has a working washer they might be able to part with as mine is leaking stinky water every where.
3.
wanted:
i am in need of furniture till i can get some we are sitting on the floor things that are needed are:
couch tv toaster end table and coffee table and a todler bed if anyone can help
with anything we would really appreciate it very much please call Serena at (deleted) please and thank you also i just found out i am pregnant and i need any baby items i can get any items thanks
4.
My wife and I are both at school and would greatly benefit from having a laptop as a 2nd computer so we’re not fighting over the one we have.
5.
A long shot I know, but my wife and I are students and we need something more economical than our suburban to get to school and back.
6.
My son will be getting his own place and needs pretty much all household items.
He doesn’t need anything fancy, maybe a small kitchen table-chairs, couch, bed,
computer desk, microwave, pots/pans/dishes.
thanks
(is that all?)
7.
Wanted: Small Car to get around in (downtown area)
I have been given a car on here before, it has been given to someone else since then, because I could not afford to fix. If anyone has one that they could spare, it would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance, Dale W.
8.
Received: One small-ish car
Thanks to Suzie and William for their generosity. It’s still funny that this is
the newest car I’ve ever had!
(wow)
9.
Hi, with the gas prices the way they are we have decided a small tent trailer or camp trailer would be better than taking our gas hog big truck camping. Any condition is fine. Doesn’t have to be pretty. Please call (deleted) Maggie
and on and on it goes!
Glad you found a home for them on Freakcycle! Thanks for submitting.
WANTED: Tractor Accessories (town)
Message #xxxxx of xxxxx
Looking for all unwanted tractor accessories.
Looking for in a hurry….
A 6 foot mower deck
A backhoe attachment
A post hole digger attachment
A 6 foot harrow
A 4 foot plow blade
We want any other attachments you might want to part with and would surely
appreciate any and all answers. We can even take some broken parts that need
welding. We have a nice home made welder that fixes these attachments really
well.
Your junk attachments will be used here on the farm and have a good long life.
Thank you in advance
Wanted: Aquarium
MY KIDS HAVE DECIDED THEY WANT FISH AND THEY WONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!!! WE ARE LOOKING FOR A AQUARIUM IN GOOD CLEAN CONDITION….
I hate it when my kids are in charge. Gonna throw a tantrum now and I hope they don’t put me in TIME OUT.
Offer: 2 Blue kiddie pools
Both of these have small holes or cracks somewhere in the bottom but will hold water if you stack them together. They’d be great for sand or other non-leaky substances.
Thanks for submitting this. We had seen this on Twitter and put it in “Freak Tweets of The Week” #16 https://freakcycle.wordpress.com/2010/05/28/freak-tweets-of-the-week-16/. Was that your tweet?
25a.
WANTED: apple mac (sutton in ashfield)
Posted by: “Twlilight Minx”
Sun Jun 13, 2010 10:39 am (PDT)
wanted asap as my mac died and my laptop playing up and i cannot use windows to save my life, desperately seeking a mac, a big ask but someone may have upgraded recently, i will give a loving forever home, doesnt matter on age, a macbook or simlar will do will take desk top if no laptop offered tho x
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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What a considerate request, she’ll accpept your desktop apple if you haven’t got a laptop. How thoughtful.
tee. he he. Here’s a title from a recent Freecycle email..
[FlowerMoundFreecycle] offer teenager 14-16 girl 75028
I’m sure some pervert would love that
Pervys would have a field day on Freecycle. Know how many “kids up for grabs” posts I’ve seen?
This came across the other day:
“Bike seat with no padding. It will work in a pinch if you don’t have
one.
Sheri”
Sometimes, you should just bite the bullet & spend $10…
Got this over the weekend:
A friend is starting over and needs to furnish his apartment.
* Dinning room and living room furniture
* Pots, pans, dishes, glasses, cups and all other kitchen gadgets.
* Working washer/dryer
* Table lamps
* Linens
* Bathroom rugs
* Working TV
*************************
OK, first, think about the word NEED. Where exactly do bathroom rugs & a working TV fit into that category? And second…that’s a HUGE list of stuff. Hey, can someone furnish my home too? I could see asking for a couch and maybe some old pots & pans, but linens, rugs, and a working washer/dryer? That just pisses me off!
Bromley (UK) freecycle
hi,
does anyone have any scuba diving equipment?
thanks
———-
er, probably not. You greedy so and so!
Not the first time I’ve seen scuba diving equipment being asked for. Loads of surfboard seekers as well.
Do you have an “unrealistic beggar” category? This could go there, along with the bloke who wanted a great-condition Camaro for his class reunion.
wanted celebration tent 30×30 Message List
Reply Message #xxxxx of xxxxx
Mon Jun 28, 2010 10:31 pm
(( fyi: cost $2000, on sale. They RENT for several hundreds of dollars.))
*all* from one person (WOW):
WANTED: See List (town)
i am looking for these articles.
Queen and king size fitted and top sheets,2 mountain bikes,a treasure finder,stretch pants or womans jeans size 5 long.sweatpants would be med. mens shorts size 32X32,laptop(doesnt matter how old) as long as it works, macramay plant hangers,roots for a clamatis vine, 4 slice toaster,antenna for the digital tv, home stereo,cukoo clock,nintendo with games and controls or super nintendo
with games and control,gameboy,out side bird bath,a touch phone that will work with tmobile and internet access that holds sim card.or an i touch. i got my card no phone.hutch or cabnit that will hold dishes,small popup camper,womans business clothes dress pants,size 5 long.canoe,queen size bed frame and headboard,charcoal grill.
Hope that small pop-up camper can fit all this crap!
Looking for a pony for my youngest daughter.
Must be friendly & well mannered. It will have a GREAT home with our other horse who is easy going and friendly, and lots to eat with excellent vet and farrier care at all times.
We take horse ownership seriously and will give a pony a wonderful home if you are looking for a new home for yours! ;o)
Email with questions/pix. THX Freecyclers!
Giddy up and post that filly!
Personally I think these sound like “choosy beggars” but will let you decide (all from the same day):=======================================WANTED: Boat trailer (Portland area)Message # of xxxxxMust be able to hold a 2400 pound boat. Will travel. Thank you… and from the same poster …WANTED old running vehicle with title but not road worthy (town)Message # of xxxxxThank you!———————————————————————-WANTED: woodturning lathe and/or tools (Portland)Message # of xxxxxLooking for a lathe and accessories – gouges, chucks, faceplates, etc. for a new turner. Will be happy to take them off your hands if they’re just collecting dust!((FYI: you don’t get a decent lathe for less than $2000 … & that doesn’t include any accessories))———————————————————————–WANTED: computer notebook (Portland)Message # of xxxxxhi, looking for a used notebook for photoeditting. ***thanks in advance.***EDITED to meet guidelines[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]———————————————————————–vehicleMessage # of xxxxhi,im trying to find a dependable vehicle for a man who has quiet a story to tell.the obstacles this man has faced and still facing has been well i dont have enough space to write them all down.he has 3 kids 2 boys one girl.he is goingthrough a divorce.among other things i cant tell only if someone requests info to help him.im trying to find him help with a vehicle.reliable he has a van but the motor went maybe someone out there has a old one.his story will amaze all of you.i have helped him in the past he repays me in small ways but i cant tell you how happy it makes me feel to know someone struggling himself is so grateful.soplease i implore all of you be it a tax write off or you have a dependable vehicle you can offer or a motor please email me.thanks for reading.———————————————————————-
+1
[…] Submissions […]
Another car post. At least she isn’t requiring a shiney new red car, but she is willing to put her 3 kids in the back. yikes!
WANTED: car in good running condition (Denville)
Anything not really in need of repairs, that can hold three kiddie car seats in back. Doesn’t need to be pretty! Thanks!!
Here’s the panty one! (Never thought I’d hear myself say that):
“I have a dozen pair of panties size 10 high cut to give if anyone is Most of them are brand new. I just decided I like another style better. I hate to just toss them knowing how expensive they are. If interested email me. Thanks.”
You can credit me if you want. 🙂
Ah, no thanks to the last item, for sure!
1. small bag of women’s clothes. 3pr capris (size 12-14ish) 2 shirts (L), 3 bras
(38C), one with missing underwire. Show signs of wear and could probably stand
to be washed, but are definitely still useable.
The crazy thing is that you will probably see a TAKEN post on these very same items! Thanks for submitting! We’ll use this post soon.
From Realcycle Manchester:
Wanted: Vibrator
hiya, has anyone got a vibrator or something similar that they dont use at all!
many thanx gez h
!!!!!!!!!!! Please link me
http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com
Whoa! Is that the real deal??? I just can’t believe that someone posted that…insane.
Seriously. I can forward the original email if you like.
I truly believe you but it really is unbelievable, right? Yuck-o-matic.
subject: WAN-TEN Queen bed rails and Full bed rails
subject WONTED bed frame
I mean, really??? how hard is it to spell this? Even my 6 year old knows it’s wrong!
I suspect that many people purposely mis-spell WANTED so that they will not receive junk mail as spammers look for that word on the Freecycle subject line to send automatically generated spam. Thanks for submitting and keep them coming! We are always looking for nutty posts!
I’d suspect that except people here are stoopid.
Hi,
I found these ads in a Japanese English language magazine. They all made me laugh.
Exchange:
R7 Taylor Made Driver(bought for over 50,000yen and used twice)for another golf club or electronic device, other things too as I’m open to hear your offer.
Wanted
Looking for free or cheap wheelchair. Not electric. One where I can wheel myself about. Would be highly appreciated.
Wanted
HELP ME!. I need a lot of old towels for a project.
If you have some old towels (clean) please get in touch.
I can pick them up.
Cheers.
Just to let you know, I’ve quit my Poetryforlaughs blog and started a new one today – Howlin’
Cheers,
Andi
Love the wheelchair one. What magazine was this in? Do they Freecycle in Japan?
They were in Metropolis. You can find it at http://www.metropolis.co.jp. You might also want to check Tokyo Notice Board at http://www.tokyonoticeboard.co.jp.
(I always get a good laugh out of the personal ads).
Both mags feature lots of ads from people wanting free stuff or people giving it away because they are leaving the country. Have fun.
So whenever I post on Freecycle I always post my own rules. It’s all about don’t be rude, no second chances and how I don’t care if you are going to sell what I am giving you as all I need to do is get rid of it. Since we are moving home and have been getting rid of some good stuff we’ve obviously drew a proportion of idiots. As a result after the description I always noow write
“and if you include your mobile number in your first Email, as if I am going to call you up, then you might as well just put “delete me please” in the subject line”
I then got the following two Emails for the fully working combination oven/microwave I was giving away.
On 8/30/10, Jacqueline Aling wrote:
i would love the microwave am i ?
delete pls
jackie
On 8/30/10, Jacqueline Aling wrote:
sri paul got cut off by small child
i would love the microwave my mobile is 07831 568330
delete plse
many thanks
jackie
Hahahah, serious. Really, serious. Hahahaha, I love freecycle
Wow, abundant freakers by your neck of the woods. Keep them coming. We love ’em. And I hope I’m not being redundant by stating the obvious…pls delete.
From http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com
——-Original Message——-
From: mowgli_goatopia
Date: 02/09/2010 15:49:51
To: Realcycle-Manchester@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Realcycle-Manchester] Wanted: Emotional Baggage
Rather Random request but lets see what it brings.
Akemi arts is currently creating a massive callobrative installastion piece called Emotional baggage.
Emotional baggage is a constantly growing and evolving installation piece.
We all carry those little things with us and they tend to build up, and can weigh heavy on our shoulders. Join us in our mass purging. For this one were asking everybody and anybody to collect some mementos and artifacts relevant to their baggage, put it in some very literal baggage, seal it up and come and leave it with us. The sense of relief after you leave your bag behind will be worth it. So get packing and help us to create a truly unique and collaborative work.
Oooh, I got a crapload of emotional baggage. But it will be revealed bit by bit on Freakcycle. Thanks for sending this to us. Stay tuned for the “mass purging”. Yikes.
WANTED: red bricks (town in Maine)
Posted by: “Name” xxxxx##@yahoo.com
Mon Sep 13, 2010
Hello,
I am building a patio and am in need of 176 square feet worth of bricks (about
790 standard 4 x 8 x 2 bricks). I prefer the look of old bricks (as opposed to
the concrete bricks that are sold at the big box home improvement stores).
Thank you for considering this request!
(Name)
===================================
Somebody has an “extra” 790 bricks laying around?
Wow. that is quite a lot of bricks!
She should take her husband’s advice!
OFFER – Toilet – {town}
One toilet – used, crack on the front left-side of the base.
Toilet is bone color (cream/off-white)
Quick pick-up as husband wants it in the trash when it comes Thursday if it’s not taken.
WANTED–Baby items
I would love to have, for my daughter in law, anything for a newborn baby. We know it’s a little boy and would really appreciate clothes from newborn – 12 months.
Also: Bottles, Bibs, Clothe Diapers, Baby Toys, Blankets, Crib Sheets,
and anything else this grand mother may have forgotten.
(name and email address)
=============================
How about we just go ahead and start that college fund for him while we’re at it?
Already saving all my spare change for the little bundle of joy.
It’s begun! The freecycle Christmas requests. This one wants to be heard, it looks like.
WANTED: SEE LIST
I AM LOOKING FOR A FEW ITEMS FOR MY BOYS. IF ANYONE HAS ONE OR ALL OF THESE ITEMS THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO PART WITH OR NO LONGER NEED WE WOULD LOVE TO TAKE THEM OFF YOUR HANDS AND IT WOULD MAKE SOME CHILDREN VERY HAPPY! 1: FOUR WHEELER OR GO CART RUNNING OR NONRUNNING EITHER OR. 2: LEAPSTER FOR LEARNING 3: ANYTHING TOY STORY, SHARKS AND BEN 10 OR LEGOS. MY BOYS ARE WANTING TO DO THERE ROOMS IN SOMETHING AND THESE ARE WHAT THEY ASKED FOR. ANY HELP WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. THANK YOU ALL!
… only in Maine … have never seen posts like this in any other place I’ve lived … (both posted the same day)
===================================
Found in Augusta (state capital) freecycle:
deer hair wanted
Posted by: xxxx#@yahoo.com
Sat Nov 27, 2010
Anyone with deer hair? my son ties flies and is looking for some.
—————————————————————
Found in Portland (biggest city in Maine) freecycle:
OFFER: Mounted Deer Head (Portland)
Posted by: xxx04###@yahoo.com
dusty but in good condition
=====================================
Shall we introduce them??
In Littleton, CO freecycle (the 80’s live on)
Offer: shoulder pads
probably 20 sets of shoulder pads – near Coal Mine & Wadsworth. Will put on
front porch bench for you. When can you come and pick up?
—–
In Denver, CO freecycle:
OFFER: YALE & I25 SPIDER BABIES
(no text in email)
—-
Also in Denver, CO freecycle:
Wanted: polynesian boy
I can offer fast pick up for anywhere in denver metro area.
Thanks for submitting. You are freakruited! Keep sending them in!
Athens, GA freecycle:
WANTED: Thunderstorm shirt
For my 60lb lab that is afraid of storms.
Interestingly, this is the 2nd time this person has posted this request. 1) Who even owns a “thunderstorm shirt?” 2) Why would someone want to give you their shirt FOR YOUR DOG?
———- Forwarded message ———-
Subject: Wanted: pregnancy test asap.
Hi there, any will do, usually get a bulk of the cheap ebay ones but have ran out & postage will take time. If anyone has any laying around that they aint making use of please could I have one asap. Thanks.
(Ed- I love this not just because they clearly get through tests like kids get through Smarties, but also because they assume most normal people would just have spare ones lying around the house.)
WANTED; Tiny Dog
I’m looking for a small dog that likes to lay on the couch and be lazy and be petted alot. I know kind of an odd request but my therapist has sugested that I get a pet that I can have lay beside me while I am sitting down. And we have a rabbit so a very small dog wouldn’t be able to hurt him. If anyone has a very small (no more than 5-8lbs) breed dog that needs a home I would love to see them and try them out. Thanks all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[I guess the rabbit doesn’t want to be petted?]
Freakcycle, you’re like my new best friend. If you use any of my submissions, please credit my website, Weird Enough
Found today on Denver Freecycle: 1. How is someone inclined, mechanically? 2. Are the homeless giving away things on Freecycle?
OFFER: Cart – downtown Denver
The two back wheels are broken off of this cart. A mechanically inclined person should be able to fix it. The wheels are included. The front two wheels are still on and work.
——-
Also in Denver Freecycle: All from the same person:
Offer-graco car seat base-tan
car seat base-tan near 120th and i-25
offer-jumperoo without seat
jumperoo missing seat, i am sure you can get it online
offer-stroller missing a wheel
great stroller,just missing a wheel-porch pick up
In the words of the immortal Sally Field, “You like us, you like us.”
Ok, weird enough, you got it.
This would fit into a food(?) category. Can’t imagine someone driving across town to pick it up:
OFFER: turkey neck & giblets
I am making a turkey tonight & have no use for these. Would anyone else like to have them? Would like gone ASAP
Do youi have a “too lazy to sort” category? Getting a whole lot of things someone else is throwing away is really appealing, especially when you have no idea what it is.
Offer: FREE STUFF
I have a giant ross bag with tons of odd stuff im tired of laying around so please no questions first to come get it has giant surprise bag…lol
(Credit & link to my blog, as before, please!)
Best subject line of the week:
The original offer said OFFER: Diaper Box Full of Misc. It’s amazing the omission of one word can do.
I just realized I omitted the word “what” from my comment! Bwahahaha!
[Stockport Freegle] Wanted: 4×4 Vehicle. Buxton
I desperately need a four-wheel drive vehicle, so that I can get to work. Any offers (MOT failures, etc.) will be gladly received.
from: http://thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com
There are so many things I desperately need but greedy Freecycle mofos, I got enough to spare. Thanks for submitting!
What is an MOT failure?
MOT test = Ministry of Transport test. It’s an annual test that British vehicles have to pass in order to legally drive on public roads. So I guess this person isn’t too concerned with the law or their safety!
Wow, you beat me to it Lisa! Thanks.
Freecycle request- someone is looking for beads, the kind with a hole in the middle. (is there some other kind I don’t know about?) I love that she’s looking for supplies for her kid, but the bead request made me totally chuckle.
Here’s the entire email-
my son is really enjoying making things lately and im very limited on craft supplies, glitter, those beads with the hole in the middle so u can make pins or ornaments out of pipecleaners with , feathers, etc. he really can put anything to use i just want him to broden his imagination. so if anyone has any kids craft supplies just taken up sapce and you would like to get rid of them please let me know.. thanks so much and happy holidays
So glad she “brodened” the definition of a bead. I would have been lost without it.
My favorite from today:
“OFFER: TV. The TV works but has issues. The power button on the front does not work. It can only be powered on with a remote. Remote control not included.”
I know, I know, there are universal remotes. My first read through made me laugh aloud, though. That last sentence was the punchline to me!
(Credit Gardenwife – http://gardenwife.com – please)
[freecycleleamington] OFFER: re-usable condom (cv11)
From:
nickey1993
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To: Mi-Chelle
this item is very useful u can wash it and use it again and again. u can still taste the strawberry!!
—
To visit your group on the web, go to:http://groups.freecycle.org/freecycleleamington
**LIKE I WOULD PUT THAT IN MY MOUTH….. HERPES ALERT!**
Feel free to use guys….. still feeling sick!
For once, I am rendered speechless. Thanks for submitting, even though this one leaves a bad taste in the mouth. He, he. O.k. , so I’m not speechless.
What’s scary is, if this wasn’t a joke post, someone probably responded and wanted it!
Excerpt from an offer post that came across our local list today:
No charge for the like fashion advice! 😉
Posted on my local Freecycle…
[xxxtonFreeCycle] offer – toilet and sick – xxxton
Well, you wouldn’t want one without the other, would you?
Thanks for submitting and yes, the sick and the toilet should always go hand in hand.
Wanted: Seasoned hardwood firewood.
Looking to pick up at least a van load of seasoned hardwood firewood for my fireplace.
Looking for split or whole logs, no more than 12″ long if possible.
Can pick up sometime next week.
Thanks.
~Posted on FreecycleTorontoAnnex by one of our most frequent wanted posters! No request is too large!~
(Anonymous, please.)
Wanted electronics Zune,iphone,tivo,laptop & xbox 360 Games
Hello,
l’m looking for any and all small electronics such as but not limited to: Xbox 360 Games,Zune,ipod touch/phone, tivo,laptop, psp,desktop computer,gps etc.
Thanks
~Did he get coal in his stocking this Christmas or is he opening an electronics store?!~
I’m posting this a bit late, but it’s in keeping with the theme – notice the time it arrived in my inbox:
Date: 12/24/10 23:03:31
To: StockportFreegle@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [StockportFreegle] WANTED: Xmas presents for 9 yr old girl **Location missing**
Hi everyone I know I’ve left this really late but we were expecting a delivery today of Xmas presents for our 9 yr old girl but they didn’t turn up , so if anyone has anything suitable we would appreciate it , thanks in advance can collect tonight
WANTED: (For my Mother) Wagon or Wheelbarrow
…
Photo for LoveWaiting
From:
LoveWaiting [Chat now]
…
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To: xxxxxxxxfreecycle@yahoogroups.com
She is needing somethin to haul our firewood inside and her arm is bad and I am afraid shes going to hurt herself carrying it.. A wagon or a wheelbarrow or even a shopping cart would be great. It doesnt have to be in pristine condition as long as it rolls. 🙂 she can be reached at xxxxxxxxxx & her name is xxxx. you can also call ME xxxxxxxxxx or reply to this email.
Appreciate ANY offers! Happy Holidays! 😀
===========
Notice this is to haul in OUR firewood. Poor mom, guess her lazy young’un is thoughtful enough to post on freecycle for her, but heaven forbid she should actually consider carrying that firewood in herself!
Come to think of it, I’d like to be rolled around in a wheelbarrow sometime. I’d have a down comforter with me to cushion my backside, of course.
On today’s Freecycle:
“A computer thing.I know it works and I think it was used with my husband’s
laptop.has the stand and power cord.”
What the hell is that?
That sounds exactly like my mom would describe something like that (whatever it is).
You sure your mom is not using Freecycle? It may well be her post or maybe it’s my mom’s post. I got her hooked on FC a few months ago. Good God, I hope I don’t see her on Hoarders.
OFFER: DOG
I have to get rid of our 2 year old baby due to laws in my town of owning pit bulls. She is a mixed breed pit/shephard mix. When we moved here we had no idea that they had this law against mixed breed pits. We were misinformed and are now facing a large fine if we don’t rehome her soon. Me and my Family DO NOT want to get rid of her at all. She has been an amazing dog for the most part. Very loyal, alert, protective,loves kids, gets along well with some dogs, her and our jack russell are nearly inseperable. It just takes her some time to adjust to new dogs. She does not do well with cats, and has been known to run off from time to time. She is up to date on her rabies vacs, she is not fixed. She is housebroken and will bark or wine at you when she needs to go out. would prefer her go to a home where she can stay indoors w/ a fenced back yard. She will stay locked in a room while your gone without going potty on the floor, unless your gone for a whole day, then you could come home to a mess. Could very easily be crate trained, she for the most part doesn’t even chew on things while your gone. You might find a few things here and there that don’t really matter to you chewed up but you never can tell. She is an all in all awesome dog and listens very well unless she gets out then good luck catching her! Please someone help me find her a good home! She does love to chew on bones and gets a little defensive and growls so she may nip if chewing on a bone but other than that she has never ever ever bit or nipped one of my kids. My 18 month old pulls her tail ears, crawls all over her and she just lays there like a big baby. She loves to play with her owners and will fetch but you have to chase her to get the stick back…LOL. sorry such a long post, just wanted to make sure that i put all the positive and negative about her! She is great and we are going to miss her!
======================
I’m sure this is not all the negative about this poor dog. I get irritated seeing some of the same people asking for a puppy, then freecycling it (or it and more puppies) when it’s no longer cute, has never been trained and isn’t instinctively that perfect pet. There are some habitual offenders like this on our local group site.
I’ve hesitated making an official stance on the posting of animals on Freecycle because I cannot seem to temper my fire-and-brimstone manifesto in a way that doesn’t make me sound completely loco-in-the-cabeza. I am taking anger management classes and when I receive my certificate of affability, I will present my statement of belief to the class.
Our local group doesn’t allow animal posts for reasons like this.
[xxxtonFreeCycle] WANTED…VARIOUSE….XXXTON
ANY CORDLESS HOME PHONE
HI FI SYSTEM WITH SPEAKERS
28 INCH OR MORE TV
PC MONITOR FLAT SCREEN
FREE SAT BOX
PC BITS AND PC BASE
PC DESK AND CHAIR
MOST MUST BE IN XXXTON UNLESS THEY CAN BE DELIVEREDAND SOME I CAN PICK UP
He’s just! so excited! about! a table!
OFFER: Drafting Table 5×4 with OverLay!
I have a Large upright adjustable Drafting table with the overlay. its Metal and its heavy! 5ftx4ft wooden top! Weight is somewhere near 70-90lbs. It has Metal base. I have Rollers for it, but must keep them unless you want to buy them! the Desk is free! Come get the beast! Reply for Pictures in Brunswick!
Oh my gosh! This is truly exciting! A drafting table! The beast! I am tired of hitting the exclamation point key so I will only say thank you for submitting!
Brampton FreeCycle:
“looking for any private outfits for gf to enjoy school girl outfits or police or nurses outfits”
“gf”, eh? Sure pal!
It was posted by a guy!
Thanks for that submission, of all the ones I saw on Twitter yesterday, this one was the one I really wanted. Fantastic. We get to all the submissions eventually and you will definitely see this in a future post. Feel free to submit any post you feel is worthy of one of our beatdowns. You are freakruited!
WARNING: Gross out on the way
============================
Wanted xxxxxboro ( Dewormer ) Need delivery
Wednesday, January 12, 2011 12:07 AM
I live on a very limited income with my son.I noticed yesterday that my beagle has pin worms. I was hoping someone out there had some extra liquid or pill dewormer for small to medium size dogs. ANOTHER catch is I can not drive so I do not have a car and I would need to have someone willing to bring it to me. Please someone help her tummy is really bloated and she is passing live ones in her stool.
Thank you for at least reading this,,
Sincerly;xxxxxxxxxxx
xxx-xxx-xxxx
You may call any time
===============================
I’d make a bet she got this pooch from someone on freecycle.
*offer* & *wanted*
Hi! I am posting this for a fellow feecycler who isnt able to get online right now. She has a 1yr old red retriever to offer. she says he is good natured, but not good w puppies.
She is also looking for furniture and carpet for her home.
If you are interested in the dog, or have something she may be able to use for her home, please call or text xxxx @xxxxxxxxxxxx. Please dont reply thru email, as I have no way to forward them to her. Thanks!
==============================
Wonder why she needs new furniture and carpet, and wants to get rid of this dog?
eeewwwww!
===============
WANTED: New or gently used toilet brush with holder-(xxxxxx)
Wow. wow. That is one thrifty mofo…and quite gross too, I might add. Thanks for submitting.
I see these all the time on the curb at trash day, so I’m glad someone can use one! From our Freecycle group:
“I am looking for a Class A, Class C, or travel trailer.
Thanks,
XXXXX-Flower Mound”
Class A? That’s especially awesome!
unfortunate typo??
========================
wanted verizon cell phone in (town in Maine)
Posted by: Donnalastname####@aol.com
i have a cell phone that i still use but it is broken and i told them it was broken and they want me to pay for a new one if anyone could help me out i would apresheiet it
WANTED: BROKE WASHER FOR PARTS
i need the dogs out of a old washer,must have top ajatater that has dogs in it,i want these to help someone that is in need, so if you have a washer that doesnt work , please contact me and i will haul it out of your way , thanks and god bless.
=================================
Who let the dogs out?
I love the dogs out of the washer visual. I know that is not what he meant but my brain works in mysterious ways. Woof, woof. Thanks for submitting!
WANTED: Suzanne Somers Thighmaster Buttmaster (town in Maine)
I am looking for a Thighmaster/Buttmaster made by Suzanne Somers. I found one
that was genetic and it didn’t work. Thank you for your help.
**************
Who knew that genetics played such an important role in exercise equipment?
Love it! I am genetically pre-disposed to laugh at celebrity-endorsed workout products.
WANTED: Espresso maker and burr coffee grinder (Portland area)
Seeking an espresso maker — Not a stovetop unit, but a “real”
self-contained unit. A pump machine would be ideal, but any espresso
machine would be a real gift.
Also seeking a coffee grinder for espresso — preferably a “burr” grinder.
____________________________
If we’re being generous, maybe he just doesn’t know that average price for a pump espresso maker is over $1500. But the fact that he knows he wants a burr grinder makes me think otherwise.
It’s been a while since I contributed to the hilarity…
Great example of why it should really be a best practice on Freecycle to keep it to 1 item per post. That’s a special bra, alright.
“OFFERED: Special Bra — Bucket of Floor Glue”
————————-
Good God, where did I put those chairs???
“Wanted in Bordentown chairs for dining table
Thanks in advance for your help. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
————————–
I once saw someone chuck garbage out their car window. What luck! That means I can do it too!
“Wanted:Minivan or Caravan
I know this may be a longshot, but I’ve seen it posted before. Stay at home mom of 4 children, ages 6 yrs- 1month. I can’t get around, I need a van. Any help will be greatly appreciated.”
Some people on Freecycle are too generous for their own good.
From: Freecycle Littleton
OFFER: 6 wire hangers
5 of them have the sticky cardboard roller.
Porch pickup, please respond with time!
Today’s “WANTED: small kingdom (principality would do)” request…
From Littlehampton (UK) Freecycle;
wanted caravan
hi im looking for a free caravan and a boat will take any size feel free to mail or call me 01903xxxxxx anytime many thanks…..
__._,_.___
Wanted: Sewer Body or Manacan Body
I am a sewer and in need of a sewer’s body or a Manacan of some sort. If you have something to this sort that you feel would be useful in making clothing and displayin clothing i am truely grateful!!
~~~~~~~~~
It took me a couple of tries to realize what this person was asking for. I guess she’s never heard of the word “seamstress”, or more likely, couldn’t spell it.
A manacan? i once had a rag doll man named Manacan. Oh wait, it was Menachim.
The mind boggles… I didn’t see the original post
From Littlehampton (UK) Freecycle;
taken – cot and baby
has found new home
In today’s crop of wants:
I’m looking for a flowbee to use to cut my 1 year olds hair. I’d just take him to have his hair cut professionally but he doesn’t like strangers so I don’t think that they would be able to cut his hair. If anybody has a flowbee that they’re not using then it would be greatly appreciated.
~~~~~~~~~
So, I guess he wouldn’t be afraid of a vacuum cleaner sucking his hair off his head?
Maybe she should take this child out in public once in a while. Wait, please don’t.
File under choosy beggars:
I would love to have a patio set and a park bench and a grill for my yard this spring and summer if anyone has one let me no thanks xxxxxxxx
__________
And she doesn’t even want to thank anyone for it. Or else she can’t spell “know”.
This person has to forget about hanging out in their yard and hit the books, you no?
needing a baby bassnett
Thursday, April 14, 2011 9:58 PM
From:
To:xxxxxxxxxcycle@yahoogroups.com
my daughter is expectinng and is in need of a bassnet old or new one will do. and a few sheets for it can be picked up if not to far
_________
I’ve heard of using a catcher’s mitt when you deliver a baby, but using a bassnet is a new one on me.
Okay, bad joke. Sorry about that, but couldn’t resist.
We are the home of the bad joke so bring ’em on. We just may use it!
What is with the underwear posts lately? Glad to hear there were no stains! ewwww She posted a TAKEN messager just a few hours later. I just picture some creepy guy wanting used female under pants.
I have 26 pairs of bikini underwear size small.
Mostly Victoria Secrets. Good condition. No stains.
We come across quite a few underwear posts. Sigh. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it. Thanks for this Victoria Secret post and yes, I’m sure there will be a few guys requesting.
WANTED
Subject ventriloquist dummy
Description one with a stick from the head and a trigger to move the mouth would be nice. home made or store brought. not with a string from the back of the head please.
Teletubbies La-La Adult sized costume.
Description Fancy dress party coming up and would be very grateful if someone had a La-La (the yellow one) costume.
Wanted: Working riding lawn mower
Wanted one working riding lawn mower.It must work, thank you.If you have questions as to why i am asking for one email me xxxxxxxx@yahoo.com or call xxx-xxx-xxxx i will be happy to explain. thank you.
I’d like to clarify that if and when I ask for a lawn mower, it will be used to cut grass.
Wanted: quilts
Looking for old, but nice quilts to use as “tables” at our picnic style wedding reception. Any colors would do, but Paisley patterns would be keen.
==========
Heaven forbid this person would pop for something for guests to sit on. Anyone want to bet that he sent out coupons for money off on KFC so you could bring your own chow?
Offer: Seriously grungy cat-impacted 12 x 15 foot rug remnant
This is a good sized remnant, but seriously messed up. Could possibly be cleaned, though with effort. Maybe there’s a use for it. Needs to be carried downstairs and out the door; will probably take two people.
(something tells me this is a really nasty piece of yuck that the owner does not wish to touch and remove from residence themselves. Blech!!!)
Wow….And “cat-impacted” could be taken two ways, neither of which would be good.
Looking:
I am looking for some Hotplates if any one out there has any plzzz let me know i am moving and not goin to have the money right now to get my Gas on so if u have anything like that plzzz let me know xxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com Thanks too all
========
Probably won’t have batteries for the smoke alarm if there is one. Plz put fire dept on speed dial.
From Lancaster, UK Freecycle yesterday:
OFFER: Basic course in manners
Description
basic course in manners and internet etiquette available to anyone
who has forgotten how to say please or thank you when asking for
items on freecycle
Well it made me laugh!
From: Bromley Freecycle
“hi can anyone help me out im looking for family swimming pool i would be very gratefull ”
Well, wouldn’t that be nice!
I’d be grateful for a family heirloom, or the family jewels, or a family vacation to Disney. Anything family-sized really, as long as it’s free!
Thanks for submitting! Now go jump in the pool or something! Hee, hoo!
Lancaster Freecycle is on fire at the moment. Another cracker today:
OFFER: old bath and sick
Description
old bacth and sick sort of geen/grey color !no taps or drainage this
them, to be collected as soon as possible
So many sick sinks out there! Boo hoo! Thanks for submitting!
Looking for the metal sticks that you would use to roast marshmallows or hot dogs. No rust please.
—
She should just ask for some steel wool, too. Sheesh.
This was posted on the Camden South group yesterday. I find myself oddly wanting it.
13193281
Type: OFFER
Subject: Free DNA sequencer (ABI 377).
Location: UCL, University Street
Description: Technology in (genetics) research moves at a very quick space and so we have no more need for our 377 DNA sequencer. It is fully working and comes with a Windows 2000 powered PC along with all the accessories and manuals. We simply want to find a new home for it instead of disposing it.
Date: Mon Aug 1 15:06:20 2011
http://groups.freecycle.org/camdensouth_freecycle/posts/13193281/Free%20DNA%20sequencer%20(ABI%20377).
The first two items on this WANT from Essex, UK made me laugh almost as much as the spelling mistakes:
“hello,
i know this maybe a long shot & i will be very licky but i was wondering if
anyone had lying around that they no longer need that we can make good use of
the following… we would be very greatful for & can collect any where at a time
that suits you,we are genuine freecyclers and will pick up & promise not to let
you down,also dismantle if need be…
* t mobile dongle that can be used in a laptop,as my nauty children broke mine i
do not need the sim card just the dongle only so i can put my sim card in it. if
you can help i would be VERY greatful for
*i know this is a long shot but you never know as i seen these before on here,a
laptop it dont have to be nothing special or be up to date or in good cond,as
long as i can get on the net im happy as again my children broe tis by dropping
it 😦 i learn next time not leave it about,lol if you can help i would be
VERYYYY greatful for & can colect at a day & time suits
*plasterboard,has anyone got any laying around that they no longer need thats un
used or in very good cond please sorry to be cheeky but i would be very greatful
for this aswell,can collect at a time that suits you.
* a chicken run,hapy to dismantle & collect at a time & day suits you if you
could help on this i would be very greatful for, i know its along shot but i
maybe lucky 🙂
* bathroom cabinet,the long tall type with shelves or cupboards in white or
cream if poss but anything considered as its for my sister who is in great need
* kitchen cupboard wall unit size 500 any colour is fine as long as its in good
cond so i can use to finsh my kitchen off please again can collect at a time
that suits you
i know it seems cheeky to ask for so much please forgive me please dont think im
being greedy but these items are really needed & i would love to give them a
good home,can collect at a time suits & day & i promise i will not let you down
thankyou so much for reading this if you can help or anyone you know i would be
very greatful for regards”
Holy crap, this one is great! Thanks for submitting.
I’m surprised they didn’t put an offer up for the naughty children…..
Wanted: Size 14-22 wedding dress
I am in need of a size 14-22 wedding dress. The one I bought don’t fit anymore. If you could help I would appreicate it. Thank You.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wonder if this bride-to-be is the next OctoMom? Will we be seeing a request for multiple bassinets soon?
OFFERED: Bird Bath – Deck Railing Mount (Kent West Hill)
This plastic bird bath is designed to mount on a deck railing.
It is also made to dump, so you can dump a bowl of dirty water on your
unsuspecting teenage kid (just joking!)
It works OK.
First preference is given to people who type in complete sentences.
Hmm..sounds too gleeful to be just a jokey parent. Someone check on the kid please.
OFFERED: Plastic Hangers. Lots of Plastic Hangers (West Hill in Kent)
Once upon a time there was a store with many, many clothing items.
Now there is an unemployed former store employee with a big box of plastic
hangers and a husband who would really like to have his garage cleaned out. Help me restore marital peace by taking this large box of dusty, high quality retail hangers. They are the clear type with the swiveling metal hook.
Love it! This post has a fairytale beginning, some marital drama, and a hook. Thanks Jennifer for submitting it!
Dear Freakcycle- this was too good to not share. My response is Holy Sh!t, no pun intended. I couldn’t make this up if I tried.
“This might be a shot in the dark, but hopefully someone has a portable commode/toilet they don’t use. I was supposed to borrow the one my parents have for a colonoscopy prep tomorrow, but they can’t find it and may have gotten rid of it. There’s only one bathroom here and that’s a problem…
I would need it by at least 2pm tomorrow, please this will save me from having to make one out of a bucket, or if you have a bucket one already made I might take that too…Thank you in advance!!!!”
Brampton, Ontario, Canada:
“We are renovating our house and need lots of stuff. So anything you can spare or give away is welcome. We are looking for
1) Kitchen Cabinets and coutnertops,
2) Stove, Oven, hood, etc.
3) Bath tub, tiles, vanity, sink, shower doors etc.
4) Closet doors, rails,
5) Laminate floors, baseboard, trim etc.
6) Storm door and accessories
7) Hand railings for stairs,
8) Electrical items,
9) Windows, Window nets,
10) Window blinds, curtains,
Anything and everything that is needed for renovating a home is welcome. To save time on both sides, if you can send pictures and size information, that will help us make proper arrangements for pick up quickly. Thanks for your generousity.”
Um, yeah – whatever happened to “living within your budget”? Seriously… there’s 10 different projects there – many of them major – and they want it all to their spec?
Of course they do. Freecycle’s got banquets of beggars so get in your shed and deliver the goods to them, pronto. I have a 2×4 I’m ready to give to them.
Another gem from Toronto…
Do you or your neighbour have an old RV sitting in the driveway collecting dust. If so I would be more than willing to take it off your hands.
I know this is a long shot…but I thought I would try.
Please email me with details…..
Thank you so much
**
Good grief.
My neighbor currently has his mama living in his RV, only yards away from my deck. Good Lord.
Bozeman, MT is better known for the Chronicle police reports, but this was pretty funny tonight:
OFFER: Small Bag of Monkeys (Belgrade)
Holy hell. I’d love a bag of monkeys! Think of all the chaos that would ensue.
Excellent items from you, man. I’ve keep in mind your stuff previous to and you’re just too fantastic.
I really like what you’ve received here, certainly like what you are saying and the best way during which you say it. You make it entertaining and you continue to take care of to stay it smart. I can’t
wait to learn much more from you. This is actually a wonderful
web site.
Hey CCC, Thanks, man! Comments like this make us what to keep on keeping on and it is really appreciated. We have lots of ridiculously funny stuff on the back burner so stayed tuned for more foolishness. Please also pat yourself on the back for making us smile pre-coffee. That is an insane feat!
Looks like someone wants their freecycled item back—-
This is for Cheryl (Inhope I remembered your name correctly) in XXXXX. You took my flannel material to make baby blankets for my wildlife.
It looks like you haven’t had a chance to make the blankets, so would you please return the flannel to me asap? I absolutely have to get these done before my next wildlife newborn babies arrive, and it has been over 2 months now.
In this case, I can understand. There are many people who volunteer to make stuff for rescue organizations and perhaps they had advertised on Freecycle although you are clearly not supposed to and some kook signed on and then did not honor their end of the bargain which was making some blankies for some newborn beasties.
Who would pull the flannel away from a newborn sloth baby in Costa Rica? It is a cruel world, I tell you and sometimes I cry into my coffee when I think about it too much.