Eggs in the Cellar

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Freakcycle as you already know, embraces the strange.  Heck, we’d even venture to say that we’d like to hold it in a death grip if we could.  People who say strange things, like in this next post are our very favorite.  We like it when the motive for strangeness is obscured or enveloped in a haze of non-sensical jibber-jabber.  Take that last sentence, for example…HUH?  Exactly our point.

We introduce another category for our bizarre bazaar—“What’s He Building In There?”.  This will be the repository for all those Freecycle posts that hint at the possibility of a mad scientist, carpenter, or some other crafty freak at work.  People asking for glycerin by-products, old hen houses, and yes, sometimes even a hammer.  That hammer post was what gave us the idea for the new category. That and of course, one of our favorite oddballs, Tom Waits.

WANTED: 4 egg, egg poacher.
Please it must not smell like the cellar thanks
I have a 2 egg pocher for the microwave the egg gets too rubbery.

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Hammer

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Wow, this guy wins the Freakcycle prize for most succinct and to-the-point Freecycle request.  I’m getting a picture of a Tom Waits “What’s He Building?” , mysterious type of character.

Is it blog-worthy?  Yes it is, especially in light of our previous blog entry about how to get your Freecycle WANTED post to stand out.  This guy makes my mannequin post seem overly verbose.  Shame on me for wasting the valuable time of Freecyclers everywhere.

WANTED in Jxxxxxn: Hammer

wanted: hammer. thank you.

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Marionette Bachelorette

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WANTED: Hello Freecyclers,

I have been underemployed/unemployed since 2009 and I have no money for the
holidays. And while I don’t have kids (so it’s no big deal), I’d like to put a
couple of gently-used cast-offs under our (as of yet hypothetical) tree for my
boyfriend.

He likes puppets and Muppets. Basically, just puppets (not dolls) so if you
have an old one laying around and you don’t want it anymore, please reach out.
He’s also really into repairing and restoring them, so don’t hesitate if it’s in
so-so shape. Mxxxxxxxxxn residents only, please.

Best wishes and thanks!
Jxxxxn

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Don’t Make Me Open Up a Can of Lumbricus Terrestris On You

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OFFER: Can of worms- Started some renovation work in the basement. The contractor told me I had a can of worms down there. I don’t need a can of worms. Quick pick up please.

 

Shut your mouth now, haters.  Yes, this is a real Freecycle post.  A gift from the gods, right in my inbox.  Don’t question the authority.

Okay, I know it’s weird.  It’s probably the strangest post I’ve seen to date and I’ve seen quite a bit.

Why would anyone have a can of worms in their basement?  Who are the most likely suspects in Freakcycle’s opinion, you ask?  Could it be:

 

a. a half-assed fisherman?

b. a band of basement moles?  (huh?)

c. a tiny subterranean gnome who composts?

d. What are little boys made of? What are little boys made of? Frogs and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails, that’s what little boys are made of.  (nope, no mention of worms in that poem)

 

Downright stumped.  Gimme your thoughts.  Just don’t tell me it’s fake ’cause I’ll whoop yo’ ass with the slimy can.

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This Sharked Us To The Core

Image by Curious Expeditions

OFFER: Preserved Baby Sharks-Yes, you read it right! We were on a boat trip and part of the attraction was the fishermen letting out nets to show the kids the sea life. They caught lots of baby sharks and then preserved them in a jar for a few bucks. Of course my kids had to have a shark in a jar! they have since outgrown the fascination. I have two of them and they are in mason jars about the size of a large tomato sauce. We have had them for several years and they have stayed well preserved.

In looking for photos of these oddities, I came across these little tidbits.  I for one, am not sure if these are solely harvested for the tourist trade.  Gift shops in Florida and places south have these for sale in tourist trap souvenir stores.  I hope to God that one of the explanations below (except the bathroom one, which I hardly believe anyway) are why these poor little babies are forever in formaldehyde.

• Pregnant sharks, when frightened, will spontaneously abort their unborn babies.  Divers find these in nets, and collect them for cancer research.  Overstock is sold for educational purposes, or they are used for dissection in Biology classes.
• It is an English custom to have these in your bathroom.
• It was found inside a shark caught for food by a commercial fisherman.

Know what other creepy things you can find online?  Prairie dog tails, freeze dried ducklings, leeches in vials, coyote dog faces, and other sad creature parts.  Hope to never see this stuff on Freecycle.

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More Fly on the Wall Posts

• WANTED: Helmet- My aunt is strange and wants a Darth Vader from Star Wars helmet or mask for Xmas.  Will do a quick porch pick up if anyone has one.  Just thought I’d ask before I go and buy one.  Thanks for looking and Happy Holidays.
• Hello everyone, I am looking for a vinyl or similar type hammock, not the cloth kind that makes you look like a taco when you lay in it.  Does not have to be in perfect condition.  I work in a zoo and am looking for something for our Fossa to lay on and play with.  Our budget has been cut so I am trying this before asking for money.  Thanks so much.
• OFFER:Doggie diapers-This offer consists of two items: Medium ( 15-45 lb.) and Pup’sters 12 Pack Disposable Diapers and the Pup’sters Washable Denim Male Dog Wrap that covers the disposable diapers.  I never used them so they are brand new.  Thanks so much.
• OFFER: Seasonal Outfits for Ceramic Ducks- I am offering some seasonal outfits for the ceramic ducks that people put on their porch.  Please state date and time you can pick up.  Thank you.
• WANTED: odd request KEN or KEN-TYPE DOLLS- I am sure that this is a bizarre request but I thought that I would try here first to keep any unwanted dolls out of the landfills.  I am looking for Ken or Ken-type doll(s) for a project.  Condition is not important.  Even if the dog got to ’em and thanks for freecycling.

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