Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged bullhorn, dimwitted, Freecycle, Freecycle Funnies, horn, living green, lout, outdoor event, parrot, recycle, recycling, super obvious on July 1, 2013| Leave a Comment »
OursHELLLOOOOOO? CAN YOU HEAR MEEEE? JUST FOR THE RECORD, YOU FREECYCLING MASSES OUT THERE…A BULLHORN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A BULL. I WILL USE THIS CONTRAPTION TO TELL YOU, IN A WAY THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY A DIMWIT, THAT I NEED TO BE HEARD. AT AN OUTDOOR EVENT. WITHOUT ELECTRICITY. LOUDLY.
WANTED: working bull horn in rxd bxxk====Working bull horn for outdoor events that does not have to
be plugged into anything to operate, but will amplify voices.
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged b-movie, Freecycle funny, horror flicks, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Robert Hood, telescope, The Blob, Undead Backbrain on July 19, 2011| 1 Comment »
Yeah, I drew it for you. ♥ FreakcycleOFFER: Mxxxxxxxxxe New telescope left outside in the rain Dont know if it works anymore (?)
If this is not the height of laziness, and believe me, I have a PhD in laziness (as is evidenced by not posting in Freakcycle for two weeks). If this post doesn’t take the blue ribbon for half-assedness, I truly don’t know what does.
Just look in the goddamn finder, for chrissakes to see if the telescope works. Point it up to the sky and find the Planet of the Lazy Buffoon. You recognize home, don’t you?
To top it all off, all info is thrown into the subject line because why even bother to write up a description for a questionable telescope? And punctuation? Never you mind. Throw in a colon and a question mark in unecessary parentheses and call it a day.
Industrious readers and responsible citizens of Earth, I know that this type of Freecycle carelessness galls you to no end so to make up for this, I will give you a visual as to how I believe this post actually made it to Freecycle.
Please enjoy as I slip into geek-mode and describe my ideal storyline for a B-grade horror movie made on graduate-school budget.
Picture if you will, a gelatinous blob with fingers (the only articulated body part it has) that drags itself across laminate flooring to the dusty computer in the dark. The ghostly light from the monitor picks up the gooey snail-like detritus left behind as the mass of flesh laboriously makes its trail from its hovel to the computer chair. As it snakes up the chair and heaves itself onto the keyboard, the sliding tray straining under all the weight, the 15-word telescope post is typed out 38 minutes later. With a loud thud, the blob drops out of the chair after hitting send and makes the long journey back to its hole in the wall, only the slimy trail left behind as evidence. Fade to credits…the end.
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged Blues Clues, Child's Play, Chucky, chuckyholics, drunk, funny moms, Kahlua, kitschy, Twitter on July 18, 2011| Leave a Comment »
SourceOFFER: “Blues Clues makes noise but no batteries”
When this post was submitted, my first thought was that the blue puppy might be possessed like my old pal Chucky so we almost titled it “Boos Clues” but after the third cup of coffee, just as I was pouring the Kahlua in (kidding, I’m kidding) I said, “Ha, funny Freecycle mama’s dipping in the sauce and the toys are talking”.
I’ve been there, mama so I’m not judging. Raising my coffee cup to you right now. Cheers!
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged art, crafts, funny blog, funny Freecycle, home decor, moose, papier-mache, Twitter, wildlife on June 29, 2011| 3 Comments »
Post ID: 11959493
Type:OFFER
Subject: Papier Maché Moose Head
Location: Wxxxxxy Rxxxe
Description: Home made moose head free to good home. As much fun as making the moose was he just doesn’t fit in my new place and so he has to move on, I’d really rather not throw him out. Either someone as odd as me might like him or perhaps a drama group needing props? He’s quite big but is easy enough to mount on the wall. Photo included because otherwise no one would believe me.
Thanks to @oliverfaulkner for posting via Twitter
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged cane, Freecycle, funny blog about Freecycle, lucite, octogenarian, pregnant on June 23, 2011| 2 Comments »
FreakcycleWANTED: Lucite Cane-
Hi, I am 35 weeks pregnant,but,like with my son,am carrying a very heavy baby (7lbs 1oz so far!)So she is putting strain and pain in my knee and pelvis-the dr suggested buying or borrowing a cane,but I can’t afford one right now-anyone have a fashionable or clear/lucite cane they are willing to part with-I promise it will go to very good use!!
Thank you-
Liz and family (united states navy-submarine family)
Located in manhattan
At 35 weeks pregnant, can you even see the goddamn cane, lucite or not? One or two weeks more , baby out, and then the cane is gone.
I’m about to beat you over the head (don’t worry, only the head, just one or two times, no biggie…the baby’ll be allright).
RANT N’ RAVE RUN-ON SENTENCE ALERT- I’m about to beat some sense into you with my old man wooden cane all the while grumbling like an old man would when he beats someone because it’s perfectly acceptable at that age to take your frustrations out in a physical manner and no one calls the cops.
There…I’ve just beaten a pregnant woman in my mind like a psychotic octogenarian. Could I stoop any lower?
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged air ticket, camera, digital camera, Freecycle, funny Freecycle blog, lost, New York, tourist, transient, travel on June 20, 2011| 3 Comments »
SourceVisualize if you will, a melancholy tourist in the city that never sleeps, without her camera; a transient who Freecycles in search of a picture-box before she boards her plane to Cuckooville.
Are the tears coming yet? I am using my powers of good to reach out to all through our blog. Please help this woman…and while you’re at it, if you see a half-opened box of tissues on Freecycle, let me know. I’m in search of one, having gone through my own box already.
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged air conditioner, cheesy models, Freecycle, funny blog about Freecycle, General Public, hot on June 14, 2011| Leave a Comment »
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged complaints, Freecycle, moderator, mods, Smurfs, The Freecycle Network on June 1, 2011| Leave a Comment »
SourceWe get all sorts of comments…all the time. We like to find a niche for all of them if we can and so we unveil our “Mod Pod” page. It is a repository for all things related to the people who moderate the Freecycle boards around the planet. Most of what we receive are complaints about the mods but we know there are some rather awesome mods out there as well.
Moderating is a tough job, dear readers…making sense of and keeping track of all those incoming and outgoing emails while trying to stay within the Freecycle rules and regulations ain’t no piece of cake. Freakcycle knows this pain well. For the love of our blog, we view about 400 posts a day and some days we wanna die of boredom when we don’t get any standout posts. These poor souls have to deal with ALL of the business, not just the fun stuff, like we do. Shout out to the moderator denominator!!!!
Anyways, take a moment to see the new page and offer suggestions if you’d like but be sure to do it in the comments section on that page. Enjoy.
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged funny Freecycle blog, gardening, God, holy, Jesus, manure, Twitter on May 26, 2011| 2 Comments »
WANTED PLEASE: cow/horse manure for garden Thank You GOD!!”
Posted via Twitter by alwen_lost_arts
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged baubles, beads, doodad, Freecycle, funny blog, lampwork, lazy, silica, trinket on January 19, 2011| 3 Comments »
SourceWhy call it a PICKUP? If they had actually picked them up off the floor, the beads would still be available.
P/U Beads in Hxxxxxl
I actually spilled these all over the floor so they are no longer available.
Freakcycle 