You Blockhead!

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“I can’t help thinking that this would be a better world if everyone would listen to me”– Lucy Van Pelt.  Don’t worry Lucy, we always listen to you, and if you still have your psychiatrist’s booth, we have a new patient for you.

OFFER: bags of concrete-Mxxxxxxxxn- These were bags of concrete that got left in the yard and of course when they got wet they turned solid. Can be used as steppers in yard or broken up and used for decorating garden maybe? There are at least 10 of these.

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Freak Tweets of The Week- # 32

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These are the freak tweets that we didn’t post the previous Friday because we were preparing our spaceship for the Rapture.

• Seen on local freecycle “Black metal TV stand”. For a second there I thought it was something awesome- by philipnorton
• Thanks to the teenagers who so poorly toilet papered our house last night, I have two nice rolls of TP! #freecycle #FTW!- by stetsull
• “Herbal remedies” offered on Freecycle … says a lot for their effectiveness- by Ffion 1108
• I’m kinda waiting to see if I’ve secured some Freecycle wardrobes. Then I’m kinda wondering if the men in my life will collect it for me.-kate_librarian
• Freecycle is insane! So many people after our things, giving me sob stories as to why I should pick them?! This isn’t XFactor people!!- by mostlycaroline
• When I see women’s clothes being given away by a guy on Freecycle I wonder if he’s disposing of evidence, or has just stopped X-dressing.- by CymruBoyo

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Holy Horse S*@#!

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WANTED PLEASE: cow/horse manure for garden Thank You GOD!!”

Posted via Twitter by alwen_lost_arts

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Give Us a Hand, Willya?

Or if you’d rather not clap, do the finger-snapping poetry thing because you know we’re cool cats.  We wrestled with posting this in our Gallery of Gives and Gets because while we did not get these beauties on Freecycle, we certainly got these for free.  Yup, at a yard sale.  I was at this particular sale for about 20 minutes or so and noticed shoppers walked by this box of hands with a look of horror on their face.

These are high-quality, highly detailed rubber hands that were salvaged from the dump.  They came from a doctor’s office, not a CostumeCity store or ExtremeHalloween. No one wanted them except lil’ ol’ me and since it was my friend Sue’s yard sale, she sent me home with this box.  I love her.

We can justify posting this if we cut you off a piece of the action, though.  On the comments section, leave the most imaginative use for these hands in the form of a Freecycle request  (no Halloween decoration suggestions…too obvious) and we’ll send you one via snail mail.  Contest ends on June 3rd so hurry and get your handy posts in!

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Me Want Shower

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OFFER: Shower and Window Curtains—I have a random selection of window and shower curtains. All in great condition. Might throw in some shower curtain rings.

Please respond in complete, polite sentences. I do not understand Tarzan language and please include a working telephone number.

Thank you!

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Picasso Parrot

How is it that a parrot can get an Artist-in-Residence and I can’t?  

WANTED: Paper doilies, coloured card, etc. for artistic parrot-
Bizarre one this, but our parrot Doris has been invited to attend as Artist-in-Residence at the Flatlake arts festival in Ireland in two weeks’ time. I’m looking for plain-coloured craft-type card or paper – and especially white or coloured paper doilies – anything without printing ink that she can use to create pecktures or other mixed-media artworks. Doilies are proving hardest to track down. (Seehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8Xtjj09HM0for short film,’Doris the Painting Parrot’, featuring her with actor-director Ken Campbell, her previous owner.)

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Almost the Rapture, But Not Quite

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OFFER: Ivory Damask 3-seater sofa – good used condition Fxxxt/Axxxs
Please let me know if interested in coming to have a look. There is slight
rapture on left arm – but could be easily covered by the armcovers.

Thanks,

Oxxxa

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Ohhhh Yeahhhhh! You’ll Be Remembered Forever

Source– Bob Byrne at Eclectic Micks

Glad the Rapture is coming.  Life isn’t worth living without the “Macho Man”.  Rest in Peace, Randall Mario Poffo. (November 15, 1952 – May 20, 2011)

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Revisiting Freakcycle’s Wish List- Apocalypse Style

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Just because we’re quite comfortable using the sarcasm stick to make fun of Freecycling buffoons does not mean that we don’t have wants, needs, and desires that are worthy of a guffaw or two.

The Internet Gods say that in order to give good blog, you must be able to be vulnerable, put yourself out there a bit, and give personal and compelling information from time to time in order to connect and grab your readers.

Here it is people…wait for it, waiit for it…

We’re greedy bastards.  That’s it.

Okay, we love puppies and unicorns too, but that’s for a post-Rapture post, if we’re not chosen to ascend. (Please God, take us, they know about the unicorn stuff now).

We figured heck, since the end of the world is upon us, why not hover opportunistically over the Freecycle forums like a circle of vultures over a 3 day-old whistle-pig corpse? We stand just as good a chance as anyone of getting a few of the items on our wish list since the end of the world is upon us, no?

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Hypno Hype

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WANTED: CD-Anyone have a cd for hypnotic weight loss?.  Gained some weight over the winter and have no will power.

“You are getting very skinny, you are getting verrrry skinny…at the sound of my voice, your fat cells will dissipate like dandelion seeds in the wind”.

Get up off your duff, you lazy potato-chip eating doofus and drop and give me fifty.

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