Tree Treat

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I’m the first to admit that I eat quite a lot this time of year.  Never tried pine.  Have you?

WANTED: 6ft-ish Christmas Tree– I am looking for a fake Christmas tree that is in good shape and easily stored. I have a feeling my little girl will try and eat a real one. Thank you for helping us out.

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Are You That Special Someone? No? Then Are You A Junker?

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WANTED: Dear Freecycle friends, I need someone very special. I am trying to get moved out of my house by Christmas and don’t really want to take the time to sort and post and describe all the things I need to give away.

So, what I am looking for is someone who will come to my house every other day or so and take what I’ve put out. Some stuff will be great and others so-so.

There is a specific place on my porch where I put things and you could just come and get it at your convenience, but it needs to be no less than every 2 days. You can call or text to make sure something is there before you come, if you’d like, but I need the commitment to take EVERYTHING and not sort through it on my porch.

It has to GO! What you do with it after that is up to you – sell it, Freecycle it, trash it, I DON’T CARE, it just has to be gone from my house (and I hate throwing usable stuff away).

Who is willing to make that commitment?

Thanks to GW for sending this post via SUBMISSIONS

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Calling the Quacker Factory…One of Your Fugly Ducks Is Loose

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Took a while to post this as I was too busy eating everything in sight.  Christmas is coming.  Jeanne Bice, we need you.

WANTED: Tacky/Kitchy Christmas Apparel and Decorations-

With Thanksgiving nearly upon us, I feel like I can start thinking about Christmas. I’m looking for Christmas themed clothing that’s fugly, tacky, kitchy…you name it. I’m looking for shirts and sweaters, socks, ties, hats, really anything. Girl size 7-8, boy size 2T, baby size 6-9 or 9-12, womans size large and mens size medium/large. If you recieved a tacky sweater/socks/ ties/whatever last year as a gift, feel free to offload it to me!! Offer applies this year too.

Also looking for tacky (or not) Christmas decorations. Lawn orniments, santas, elves…Any thing! It will find a loving home among my other tacky christmas decorations.

Live in (Town in Maine), but could be up for an adventure!

Happy holidays!

Thanks to Francine for sending to us via SUBMISSIONS

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Cozy Right Up Into This And Put Up Your Barking Dogs

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Now, now, now.  Don’t cause a Black Friday-at-the-Old-Navy-type-stampede for this one.  You know the Freecycle drill…send a very nice email politely requesting the item and pray to all the saints for your chance to own these bad boys.

OFFER: I have a worn-out club chair with an ottoman up for grabs. The fabric is a
dark pattern. The chair is not in good shape–the fabric is wearing thin in
places, two of the big springs in the seat are broken so you sink back when
you sit, there’s dog hair on it, and it smells like a dog has been sleeping
in it. But if you need a junky chair, this is the one for you!

Thank you to Happy Campers for sending this one to us via SUBMISSIONS.

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Best to Invest in a Trusty Vest

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Wow, wouldn’t you feel worse if you Freecycle it to some thrill-seeking kid and then he drowns?

OFFER: Speedo Life Jacket – 30-40lbs (zipper broken)

I feel terrible throwing this out if anyone can fix it. The zipper is broken a
couple of the teeth are missing and the zipper itself has been lost. Otherwise
it’s in good condition if anyone can fix it.

Easy porch pick up.

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Who’s a Fan of Tryptophan?

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Today I found out something that was very distressing to me.

We’ve been scammed by tryptophan.  That’s right.  Despite popular belief that turkey has a particularly high amount of tryptophan, the amount of tryptophan in turkey is typical of most poultry.  Whaaaat?

Each Thanksgiving, right after stuffing their faces like Augustus Gloop on the shores of the chocolate river, everyone and their mother blames the tryptophan-loaded turkey for their general “who gives a beep”, kick your feet up, rub your enormously distended belly, and watch endless “Miracle on 34th Street” reruns until 2 in the morn Thanksgiving attitudes.

Who do we blame now for being idle, lethargic, sluggish couch potatoes on the day of the Pilgrim? Why is everyone around me comatose?  Must be the Asti Spumante.

Who needs family togetherness when there are free eats on Freecycle?  Ditch the small talk with obnoxious relatives, get in your hybrid, pick up that cooked turkey off of a stranger’s porch, go home, hide in the closet and eat yourself into careless oblivion.  Happy Turkey Day.

• OFFER: Turkey Soup–fresh vegetable soup. bring a bowl.  anybody hungry would like. p/u soon. ty

• TAKEN: Turkey Soup-found a hard working man that needed a hot meal. ENJOY. ty

• OFFER: Tray of cooked roast beef/ham/turkey–All cooked yesterday afternoon, given to us to take home last night. 2 trays full are just way too much for us!  Hoping maybe someone could use this for a few dinners.  Please e-mail if you could use this or if you know someone that could. Pick up must be by/before Sunday night. The food can be picked up tonight too. Thank you!

• OFFER: Turkey–does anyone need a turkey? I recieved an extra one today (fresh) not frozen and don’t want it to waste. if you cant come early than I will give to someone else.

• OFFER: 1/2 ham–sealed/uncooked- I know it’s late to offer this, but I have an extra ham to anyone who needs it. It’s a 1/2 ham shank, good size. I just got it this morning at Shoprite, but don’t have room to cook it. If anyone wants it, please let me know asap. I also have some canned veggies, etc.

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Camera Car Come-On

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Hi, It’s me again with a public service announcement—Stay in school.

Qwerty slip-up or bad speller?  This is the first thing I check when I’m running a post with mispellings through the “Sarcastimator.” If they qucked up (that’s our term for a Qwerty slip-up, although technically it is not a Qwerty slip-up but a nod to number 6 on our ABOUT page ) then I don’t judge them too harshly unless the rest of the post is worthy of a shakedown.

Mr. Me Again qucked up once but he consistently mispelled camera.  Lousy speller or Freudian slip?  Sigh, remember our Class Reunion Camaro? Ah, the memories…

This post is a true gift.  Bad spelling, avarice, and just a bit of cheek right at the end. Happy early Christmas giftie to you!

WANTED: Videos camaro/Ps3 or xbox-Its me again,
I am looking for a video camaro. Now the camaro doesn’t have to be qorking but please have all the parts with it. also if you are throwing out a ps3 or a old xbox please send me a message and we will pick it up. now when you send a message please have your number and a day when to call u

thank you,
have a good life

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Championing The Ugly

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You know that we here at Freakcycle are defenders of the underdog.  We’ve proven that over and over.  We love three-legged animals and the bearded lady.  We’ll choose the generic soda in the blind taste test every time. Would you believe that we like ugly too?  It’s true.  We laugh in the face of perfection.  Those airbrushed humans you see in them fancy fashion magazines? Best believe we’d kick sand into their fake faces.

• OFFER: box of 20 self-adhesive vinyl floor tiles http://www.dynamixflooring.com/vinyl-self-stick-floor-tile-1002-home-dynamix-1-b\ox-covers-20-sq-ft.html Here’s the pattern, but they aren’t really this cute in reality. The background pattern doesn’t show up and the flower looks different. Please only respond if you’re going to take them, no matter how ugly they are.
• WANTED: Unattractive bike–I’m looking for a bike that’s functional, but might not be a thief’s FIRST pick… Just something to get around on in the city. It’s okay if it’s not unattractive, too, but I definitely won’t rule out any ugly (but working) bikes. Thanks!
• OFFER:2 couches–2 large matching 3-seaters. In all honesty, they are quite ugly and worn, good for maybe a frat house or something. They are pastel, we got them from two aging Floridians, so think Naples in the 80’s. But they’re good enough, very comfortable, not necessarily very clean, but not gross either. Definitely nobugs. Pick up tonight or tomorrow, Monday at the absolute latest.
  

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