Sheepishly Sheeshing Our Way Back

How do we begin this comeback?  Tail-between-the-legs fashion? Nah, too uncomfortable. I hate g-strings and a tail would feel much the same way.

Cajoling and excusing? Nah, too wimpy.  I prefer bombastic but is that TOO AGGRESSIVE for being in-absentia for a near year????

Okay then, how about lamb-tastic?  Soft and non-threatening and completely approachable. Maybe dropping some Bible knowledge will further gild the lily?

Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves– Matthew 7:15

Are we false prophets? Maybe just a little.  We did preach that we’d be bringing it back  only to disappear into the mountains again.  Are we ravenous wolves? Um, yeah, so what? Who isn’t?

We are many things, but today we choose to be the bellwether.

What’s a bellwether? Normally we’d tell you to ask a farmer but we decided to throw you a bone since we are technically trying to get back into your good graces.  We’re not farmers but we’re well-versed in Matthew and Sheep 101 terminology.

A bellwether is a sheep that leads the herd often wearing a bell.

Ding dong…we’re back.

WANTED: Sheep- Rxx Bxxxx

I’m interested in possibly one or two sheep. I would like to communicate with someone who has experience in raising them. I have a big yard with plenty of grass.Thanks, Axxxxxxx

PS-  I love wool.  I love wool sweaters, especially when they have the Jeanne Bice stamp of approval…

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It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Chris….Cripes, What Are You Wearing???

I like pomp and circumstance, especially around the holidays.  As each year goes by, my collection of kitschy, tacky Christmas paraphernalia steadily increases, thanks in part to Freecycle.  This year, there were inumerable posts for fake Christmas trees, wreaths, and a bevy of wonderful ornaments, snowmen bowls, and of course, lots of requests for the tacky sweater.  I can assure you that no one is happier than us here at Freakcycle about the “Tacky Sweater Movement” taking hold.

I was floored years ago by the genius of Leslie and the Lys.  Girl can get down with that gem sweater.  In one song, she put into words something that I’ve felt in my heart for a very long time…that everyone should have sequined chests.  Everyone. Love her.

No disrespect to Leslie but the real Madonna of the Ugly Sweater is Jeanne Bice who has really tempered her tack-o-metry, much to my dismay. She is the QVC darling whose company Quacker Factory baked up the most delicious horrors that 70%cotton, 30% ramie, and a crapload of rhinestones can make when knitted up into a holiday treat for the body.  Sigh. We professed much Jeanne Bice love on a recent post. Blame Mad TV for her descent into blandness, not us.

Embrace the tacky and throw on a gem sweater, preferably one with a christmas elf on it.  I certainly will be making merry with one of these and swigging back an eggnog or two (one in each hand, maybe).

In the meantime, write a letter to dear old Jeanne instead of Santa and tell her we want the old Quacker Factory aesthetic back.  It truly was the gift that kept on giving.

WANTED: Tacky Woman’s X-mas Sweater– hi gang,
want to get a fun gift for my work secret santa, but have been striking out with
getting one online & the due date is nearing. if you happen to have a *women’s
large* or thereabouts, tacky holiday-themed sweater, that won’t get much play
this season, i’d gladly take it off your hands. thank you!

WANTED: Any type of ugly/tacky sweater/sweatshirt

Mon Dec 20, 2010

we are having a contest in school on Wednesday and I was hoping someone had one that they were trying to get rid of the worse it is the better

Thanks to Francine for sending this to us via SUBMISSIONS

WANTED: Ugly sweater–

Hi All,I have a friend who likes to throw themed birthday parties and this year the
theme is “Ugly Sweater”!!!! Lol  So if anyone has an ugly sweater that they want
to get rid of im your girl!!  I dont care if its mens or womans, i would need at
least a womans large. The uglier and bigger, the better i think!!  lol

Thank you for freecycling and I wish you a happy and healthy holiday!!

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Calling the Quacker Factory…One of Your Fugly Ducks Is Loose

Source

Took a while to post this as I was too busy eating everything in sight.  Christmas is coming.  Jeanne Bice, we need you.

WANTED: Tacky/Kitchy Christmas Apparel and Decorations-

With Thanksgiving nearly upon us, I feel like I can start thinking about Christmas. I’m looking for Christmas themed clothing that’s fugly, tacky, kitchy…you name it. I’m looking for shirts and sweaters, socks, ties, hats, really anything. Girl size 7-8, boy size 2T, baby size 6-9 or 9-12, womans size large and mens size medium/large. If you recieved a tacky sweater/socks/ ties/whatever last year as a gift, feel free to offload it to me!! Offer applies this year too.

Also looking for tacky (or not) Christmas decorations. Lawn orniments, santas, elves…Any thing! It will find a loving home among my other tacky christmas decorations.

Live in (Town in Maine), but could be up for an adventure!

Happy holidays!

Thanks to Francine for sending to us via SUBMISSIONS

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