Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged bullhorn, dimwitted, Freecycle, Freecycle Funnies, horn, living green, lout, outdoor event, parrot, recycle, recycling, super obvious on July 1, 2013| Leave a Comment »
OursHELLLOOOOOO? CAN YOU HEAR MEEEE? JUST FOR THE RECORD, YOU FREECYCLING MASSES OUT THERE…A BULLHORN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A BULL. I WILL USE THIS CONTRAPTION TO TELL YOU, IN A WAY THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY A DIMWIT, THAT I NEED TO BE HEARD. AT AN OUTDOOR EVENT. WITHOUT ELECTRICITY. LOUDLY.
WANTED: working bull horn in rxd bxxk====Working bull horn for outdoor events that does not have to
be plugged into anything to operate, but will amplify voices.
Posted in Freak Tweets of the Week, tagged Arnold Shwarzenegger, banana skins, billy goat, Freecycle, Kindergarten Cop, Twitter on June 28, 2013| Leave a Comment »
Mining Twitter for Freecycle kookonauts but the well runs a bit dry. No matter. Press rewind.
Posted in Blog, tagged bellwether, Bible, Freecycle, jeanne Bice, Matthew, raising sheep, sheep, sheep farming on June 25, 2013| 2 Comments »
How do we begin this comeback? Tail-between-the-legs fashion? Nah, too uncomfortable. I hate g-strings and a tail would feel much the same way.
Cajoling and excusing? Nah, too wimpy. I prefer bombastic but is that TOO AGGRESSIVE for being in-absentia for a near year????
Okay then, how about lamb-tastic? Soft and non-threatening and completely approachable. Maybe dropping some Bible knowledge will further gild the lily?
Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves– Matthew 7:15
Are we false prophets? Maybe just a little. We did preach that we’d be bringing it back only to disappear into the mountains again. Are we ravenous wolves? Um, yeah, so what? Who isn’t?
We are many things, but today we choose to be the bellwether.
What’s a bellwether? Normally we’d tell you to ask a farmer but we decided to throw you a bone since we are technically trying to get back into your good graces. We’re not farmers but we’re well-versed in Matthew and Sheep 101 terminology.
A bellwether is a sheep that leads the herd often wearing a bell.
Ding dong…we’re back.
WANTED: Sheep- Rxx Bxxxx
I’m interested in possibly one or two sheep. I would like to communicate with someone who has experience in raising them. I have a big yard with plenty of grass.Thanks, Axxxxxxx
PS- I love wool. I love wool sweaters, especially when they have the Jeanne Bice stamp of approval…
Posted in Blog, tagged Bon bons, Freecycle, Octomom, Singer, super powers, Vanessa Paradis, zombie on September 11, 2011| 5 Comments »
OursReaders…you can quit your Navajo basket weaving class now. We are back in cyberspace.
An embarrassingly long vacation with blissful summer nights of wine drinking and laissez-faire easy living á la Vanessa Paradis inexplicably morphed into a formidable and horrific creature which terrorizes everything around it but only during business hours. Do you know this beast?
If you have a full-time job, then we are now in your ranks. Yup, back into the Zombie workforce with us. A moment of silence please while we mourn the laid-back lifestyle we were perfecting into an art form.
Although we are now busier than Octomom at feeding time, this blog is back into the ring bringing you the accustomed tomfoolery that runs rampant on the Freecycle boards. Bear with us because we will not be bringing it on the daily like before until we can work out some scheduling kinks. I’m hoping salvation comes in the form of a wonder drug (over the counter, of course). This dream-capsule of medicine gives super human strength and endurance without diminishing one ounce of wit–all in one super dose. Pharmacists out there, reach out.
Posted in T.M.I., tagged angry woman, Freecycle, funny blog about Freecycle, fury, man bashing, ugly divorce, voodoo doll on June 30, 2011| Leave a Comment »
Source| Post ID | 10527015 |
|---|---|
| Type | WANTED |
| Subject | please help me get some furniture, able to refinish/fix up |
| Location | rxxxxxxxr, xx |
| Hello, Without disclosing too much, i am going through a really ugly and sudden divorce. The man in which i was married to is hiding any assets that we acquired over the years. He has left me without a dime and even took the bedroom set. My 2 year old and i are now forced to move because he kindly put a stop payment on my rent check which all of my money went towards last month so i have now received an eviction notice. (You know any child and cat friendly places?) I have been looking different places to try to acquire my own things so hopefully my son and i can get back on our feet and rebuild our lives. However, as of now it feels a little bleak. Sorry for the ramble. If anyone has any bedroom set, frame, bureaus, dvd player (my son is losing it without non-stop toy story)end table (mainly bedroom stuff), couches or other household items that are not currently being used i would feel privledged to have them. It is extremely difficult to rebuild when you are in it alone and it is unexpected. Thank you very much for reading my post. If you do not have anything like this but feel the need to man bash, im your girl:) Thanks again, Dxxxe |
Posted in Blog, tagged Freecycle, Freecycle funny, llorona, River Phoenix on June 28, 2011| Leave a Comment »
SourceArrgh. No funny Freecycle jokes running through our fine ship of fools. Thank you to our faithful freakruits who continuously send us posts and keep us afloat. We appreciate it so much because it gives us a reason to keep on keeping on even when the well is dry and the inspiration is not coming.
Ain’t that a bitch? On the heels of “Waah Waah Week” and we’re the biggest llorones (español for crybabies…we’re still educational though, ain’t we?).
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged cane, Freecycle, funny blog about Freecycle, lucite, octogenarian, pregnant on June 23, 2011| 2 Comments »
FreakcycleWANTED: Lucite Cane-
Hi, I am 35 weeks pregnant,but,like with my son,am carrying a very heavy baby (7lbs 1oz so far!)So she is putting strain and pain in my knee and pelvis-the dr suggested buying or borrowing a cane,but I can’t afford one right now-anyone have a fashionable or clear/lucite cane they are willing to part with-I promise it will go to very good use!!
Thank you-
Liz and family (united states navy-submarine family)
Located in manhattan
At 35 weeks pregnant, can you even see the goddamn cane, lucite or not? One or two weeks more , baby out, and then the cane is gone.
I’m about to beat you over the head (don’t worry, only the head, just one or two times, no biggie…the baby’ll be allright).
RANT N’ RAVE RUN-ON SENTENCE ALERT- I’m about to beat some sense into you with my old man wooden cane all the while grumbling like an old man would when he beats someone because it’s perfectly acceptable at that age to take your frustrations out in a physical manner and no one calls the cops.
There…I’ve just beaten a pregnant woman in my mind like a psychotic octogenarian. Could I stoop any lower?
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged air ticket, camera, digital camera, Freecycle, funny Freecycle blog, lost, New York, tourist, transient, travel on June 20, 2011| 3 Comments »
SourceVisualize if you will, a melancholy tourist in the city that never sleeps, without her camera; a transient who Freecycles in search of a picture-box before she boards her plane to Cuckooville.
Are the tears coming yet? I am using my powers of good to reach out to all through our blog. Please help this woman…and while you’re at it, if you see a half-opened box of tissues on Freecycle, let me know. I’m in search of one, having gone through my own box already.
Posted in Freak of the Week, tagged dildo, Freecycle, funny Freecycle, sex toys, Twitter on June 15, 2011| Leave a Comment »
SourceOk, maybe the photo is a bit of an innuendo but imagine our dilemma in trying to keep this rated PG-13.
Yes, this little prize was obtained via Twitter so don’t kill the messenger. We bring you the posts we’re dealt and you can decide whether to fall out of your chair laughing in a combination of mirth and disgust or you can shake your head in disbelief.
I think we did both…in that order.
Post ID: 11480771
Type: OFFER
Subject: A Glow in the dark Dildo
Location: Hxxxxxxs xxxxxh
Description: This is a glow in the dark dildo, only used twice and is battery powered, worth £50 its been used twice as I said but I now have a bigger black 1.
Posted in Fly on the Wall, tagged air conditioner, cheesy models, Freecycle, funny blog about Freecycle, General Public, hot on June 14, 2011| Leave a Comment »
Freakcycle 