Le Coeur D’un Rongeur

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I had a dream last night that I’d developed a line of hamster products called “Petit Hamster Life”.  I had hamster habitats, wheels, toys, pellet foods and bedding, all emblazoned with a sweet and adorable logo of a hamster wearing a purple beret. My products were flying out of the pet stores and I couldn’t keep up with the demand and was feeling a bit stressed, I remember.

Visionary stuff, I know.  Don’t try and steal my idea or I’ll kidnap you and trap you in a human-sized critter habitat I’ve made just for thieves and charlatans.

This Freecycle post is making me consider expanding my line to include gerbils, guinea pigs, ferrets, and yes, even hedgehogs.

OFFER: toy making kit for hedgehog-

Thanks to clemencywright for turning us on to this offer via Twitter

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No Feast- Just Famine, Flood and Fire

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WANTED: Digital or any Camera,Also Any Equipment

Desperate; Need a camera badly! I’m disabled photographer/artist who recently had all my photo equipment cameras,lens etc computer destroyed in a huge flood and fire don’t know how I’m going to replace any if I have non to work with,I’m supposed to have a show exhibit this year but with no equipment????? Thanks

Sad photographers seem to be the theme of this year’s “Waah Waah Week”  This came in just yesterday and it makes Monday’s post seem like a walk in the park, albeit without a camera but I digress.

What is it with artists and their lot?  Given a gift but cursed for a lifetime.  Van Gogh and the ear, Frida and her failing body, Francis Bacon with his asthma and a suicidal lover, I can go on and on. Good God, gonna have to go to Costco for the tissues. Huge flood AND fire. It just isn’t fair.  It’s not. Sniff.

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Diligently and Without Innuendo, We Bring You The Weirdos

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Ok, maybe the photo is a bit of an innuendo but imagine our dilemma in trying to keep this rated PG-13.

Yes, this little prize was obtained via Twitter so don’t kill the messenger. We bring you the posts we’re dealt and you can decide whether to fall out of your chair laughing in a combination of mirth and disgust or you can shake your head in disbelief.

I think we did both…in that order.

Post ID: 11480771

Type: OFFER

Subject: A Glow in the dark Dildo

Location: Hxxxxxxs xxxxxh

Description: This is a glow in the dark dildo, only used twice and is battery powered, worth £50 its been used twice as I said but I now have a bigger black 1.

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Pinhead

                                                                                                                              

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Wow.  Hello?  Use the subway fare you are willing to use for this pickup, go to your local pharmacy and buy the pins.  Is anyone as flabbergasted as we are?

WANTED: 6 LONG BOBBY PINS

Just like this:

http://www.rickysnyc.com/rickycare-br-retro-large-bobby-pins-50ct-brown.htmlI prefer black, brown or bronze and newly intact (no chipped paint)

PU is anywhere within walking distance of the subway.Thanks in advance!

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Point Well Taken

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Please don’t laugh.  A wonderful possession has to know that its needs will be taken care of, that its new owner is worthy of it, and being a sharpener, who let’s be honest, is always having pencils shoved into it…well, it’s vulnerable and trusting and Freecyclers should be screened properly for eligibility.  Right?

OFFER: Electric Pencil Sharpener ” pick up Dxxxxxxx Bxxxxxxxxxx “

This wonderful electric sharpener is available for pick up any time

by Friday of this week.

Tell me more about you?

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Me Want Shower

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OFFER: Shower and Window Curtains—I have a random selection of window and shower curtains. All in great condition. Might throw in some shower curtain rings.

Please respond in complete, polite sentences. I do not understand Tarzan language and please include a working telephone number.

Thank you!

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Picasso Parrot

How is it that a parrot can get an Artist-in-Residence and I can’t?  

WANTED: Paper doilies, coloured card, etc. for artistic parrot-
Bizarre one this, but our parrot Doris has been invited to attend as Artist-in-Residence at the Flatlake arts festival in Ireland in two weeks’ time. I’m looking for plain-coloured craft-type card or paper – and especially white or coloured paper doilies – anything without printing ink that she can use to create pecktures or other mixed-media artworks. Doilies are proving hardest to track down. (Seehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8Xtjj09HM0for short film,’Doris the Painting Parrot’, featuring her with actor-director Ken Campbell, her previous owner.)

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Hypno Hype

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WANTED: CD-Anyone have a cd for hypnotic weight loss?.  Gained some weight over the winter and have no will power.

“You are getting very skinny, you are getting verrrry skinny…at the sound of my voice, your fat cells will dissipate like dandelion seeds in the wind”.

Get up off your duff, you lazy potato-chip eating doofus and drop and give me fifty.

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This Is Kick-Ass…Who Wants It?

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OFFER: Technical/brand name: Equalizer Short Leg Walker

This is a boot with 5 Velcro straps that is designed to be worn over a cast, but can be worn without a cast over a foot/ankle that is not broken but sprained or just a little messed up, or just lonely and in need of attention. Also great for medium-duty butt-kicking when steel toe boots are just too much. Can also be used to stomp on bugs, snakes, and the occasional toe, after which you might be able to sell the boot.

Makes freaky footprints in the snow. You can also get out of a lot of work with one of these things!

Reply with phone number. Earliest pickup gets preference.

Thanks to Resident Hippie for sending this to us via SUBMISSIONS

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Ghost in The Machine

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OFFER: Working microwave. It was my grandmothers and she got rid of it because someone burn something in it and the smell was getting to her. The smell (burn porkroll) is probably gone or I’m sure will not be hard to get rid of. Please respond with when you can pick up.

Thank you,

Kxxx

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