Freak Tweets of the Week- # 16

Image by kattebelletje

• Someone just posted on freecycle: wether. Don’t know if they are offering or seeking a wethered goat/sheep. If it’s not of the ruminant variety, go outside you fool. Weather is free no matter where you go, whether you like it or not. @freakcycle– by resident_hippie
• The crazy pitiful shit I hear on Freecycle never ceases to amaze me. Either that group is inhabited by the unluckiest SOBs or the craziest.- by misangela
• I just saw “want: large vibrator” hit the slc #freecycle list. WTF???- by amurderofcrows
• Someone on my local Freecycle group just asked for a Camaro. I don’t think they get the idea behind “free-cycling”.- AllenIsTweeting
• Freecycle Offer: 2 blue kiddy pools. Freecycle Offer: 2 blue kiddy pools Both have small holes or cracks in the bottom but will hold water if you stack them together. They’d be great for sand or other non-leaky substances. Jello, creamed corn, mac&cheese?-by oldliteguard
• Request posted on Freecycle today: “Desperately need overhead grow lights for marijuana.”- AmyThe Thompson
• Just saw this posting on Freecycle — “OFFER – fuzzy bed for a fancy rat – Joppa – 21085” What exactly is a fancy rat?-by Shannon Brennan
• Someone on freecycle wants a Pre-School Matt. I have a Pre-School Gavin, but he’s not available.- by Cranky Dragon
• Gotta love Freecycle – Wanted: Bullet Proof Vest.- by Seidhr
• Posted on Freecycle: Just need a gate to surround,garden << Needs to be a long f’in gate luv.- by zadmarsh
• I love Freecycle. Hi, I have crap. “Can I have your crap?” Yes, come take it! ::Crap gone.::- by katenev

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How Pleasant for Pheasants

Image by Freakcycle

From a neighborhood in the DFW Metroplex:

WANTED: female peacock

Lonely male wanders the woods behind my house calling out. Day and night. The 2 females that used to be with him disappeared. If you have a female or two he would be most happy.

Thanks to EcoMeg who submitted via Twitter

Freakcycle says…lots of males would be happy with a female or two.

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Schooling the Gannets

Image by chopp3rs

Freakcycle’s full of bite today.  We’re pissy and cranky and the grabbyhands are gonna get the short end of the stick.

GREEDO #1–WANTED: 50″ LCD T.V (Stockton-on-tees)

I am looking for a 50″ LCD. T.V must be new and working prefrably with a sky+ H.D box.

FREAKCYCLE– Must be new and working.  Hmmm.  How about you get to working since you want that burger with all the fixins?  Here’s what you get on Freecycle. Grandma’s 27″ tube TV or an older Sylvania 13″ TV/VCR combo with remote (the VCR part does NOT work), and if you’re super lucky  and the gods are smiling down on you, then a small Hitachi LCD with a cracked screen.

Thanks to Sophia for sending this to us via SUBMISSIONS

GREEDO #2– WANTED: sunfish sailboat w/trailer if possible
I’m looking for a light, recreational sailboat to sail the ocean bay with! I’ve been looking for a boat for months.

FREAKCYCLE– I’m looking for a light, aluminum bat to knock some sense into you. I’d like to drink Coronas on the deck of some recreational something or other in the middle of the South Pacific but if you’ve been looking for months, did you think it would magically appear like a pod of dolphins swimming alongside said sailboat?  The dolphins would of course (since we’re dreaming in Technicolor) lead you to the bevy of beautiful mermaids who’ve been alone on a desert island just waiting for you to drop by on your Freecycled craft and ravish them.

Thanks to Q for sending this to us via SUBMISSIONS

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Breakin’ The Ton

Image by www.comicgenius.com

WANTED: Camaro – Farmington

I need a new car and I’m thinking I want a Camaro. I’ve been doing some checking and I want an orange 1994 T-top.

If you have one your not using let me know. I don’t want to spend any money on it, so it has to be in excellent condition, both in appearance and running.

Get with me ASAP because I have a class reunion next week and I’d like to have it by then. XXXXXX@XXX.com

Thanks to Allen for sending this in via our SUBMISSIONS page.

As we’ve mentioned, some Freecycle networks still allow posting a want for a car. Hope that trend continues because Freakcycle likes to see everyone’s dream come true.

In that spirit, we’d like to wish this person much luck in his  free and in-mint condition Camaro search on Freecycle and we offer him a few lesser known facts about Chevy’s top pony-car so he’ll have something to talk about at the reunion as he is showing off his baby.

• Though the car’s name was contrived with no meaning, General Motors researchers found the word in a French dictionary as a slang term for “friend” or “companion.” Ford Motor Company researchers discovered other definitions, including “a shrimp-like creature” and an arcane term for “loose bowels”!

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Image by Pedro Guaro

WANTED: Electric guitar amp- Hi i am looking for an electric guitar amp seeing as I have blown mine out any size will do just looking for something to jam with thank you all

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Freak Tweets of The Week- # 15

Image by ~lise

• OFFERED Giant Madagascar Cockroaches – My sons cockroaches have been bad we now have three to give to new homes…” <-yuck! #freecycle-artytypes
• Great Freecycle typo for foot massager: “due to several no shoes, i am reoffering this foot massager…”by briny
• Someone on #freecycle is offering free hot wheels plastic tracks to anyone and all I can think is #grandmawhoopedmewith those. Oh lawd.- by ComedianSonnyG
• Strange Freecycle Offer of the Week: Shock Absorber Bra (36D), Dulwich.- by Clapham_Ed
• Hah – just seen an offer on freecycle of an electric ice scraper. I didn’t even realise they did electric ones – how lazy is that??- by swirlyarts
• Hey freecycle ignoramus, your dogs R barking b/c they’re in a kennel all day. No-bark collars won’t fix prob. How about interacting w/ them?- by resident_hippie
• @lizzibooonetsy The curb: Like Freecycle but you don’t have to make a listing :)-by starlessclay
• #freecycle pick of the day: “Wanted, large guilt frame”- by greythorne

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Another Oversharer

Image by Wadzy

Submitted by Lisa Martin and I am reposting her whole experience in its entirety because it’s just so silly.  Think this person may have swiveled so much in his chair that his brains got dizzy.  We like Lisa’s response at the end.

Lisa Martin:  Hi, thanks for commenting on my blog! I thought I would return the favour and tell you about my recent Freakcycle experience (Evesham & Pershore Freecycle, UK)…

Ad (Fri 12th Feb 2010):

OFFER: Swivel wheeled office chair
Fully functional swivel office chair with arms. Upholstery needs minor attention. Rest of chair is excellent. Black frame, muted red and grey fabric.

LM: (Tues 16th Feb):
Hi I was wondering if the office chair is still available? I am going to start working from home and need to set up a home office. This would be a great start. My boyfriend can pick up tonight (Tuesday) or Thursday.
Thanks, Lisa 

Freakcycler (Thurs 18th Feb):
Dear Lisa,
Pardon that I’ve not responded until now. A “moving-house” tornado has rather overtaken us, but at the last minute we decided to keep the office chair, and the shredder is gone. The truth is that I would strongly suggest that you get a cross-cut shredder. The strip- cut variety is not only rather insecure, but the actual strips are very bulky, and do not pack well at all.

Sorry for the delay in responding. We’ve moved into a house and BT has just told us it would cost over 10,000 pounds to get a phone connection!!! There are no connections remaining in the small village we are in, and we would need to pay to run a cable to the nearest exchange, 5 miles away. We’ve found an Internet Cafe about 6 miles away…. Ooops!

Sincerely,
MidAtlantian

[Notes: I didn’t even mention the shredder – I guess he had another ad on Freecycle. Why is he giving me advice on shredders? Why is he telling me his life story? Why does he call himself “MidAtlantian”?!]

LM (Thurs 18th Feb):
Hi “MidAtlantian”,
Thank you for your very detailed response. I have now got another office chair from someone else on Freecycle, so it’s not a problem that you decided to keep yours. Enjoy swivelling on it.
Thanks,
Lisa

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Frankensteining a New You

Image by bridges&balloons

Forget Target and H&M.  Makeovers on the cheap courtesy of us.  I have assembled the perfect look…part Runaways, part Clockwork Orange.  I’m telling you, were I fifteen again, I’d be rocking this.

Stop your trips to the mall, pimply teens.  It’s the Devil’s playground and nothing good can come from it, except maybe an Orange Julius.

Freecycle’s where it’s at, throw it all together and thank us later.  Trust Freakcycle…we’re the Axe Body Spray for your mojo, the Tim Gunn “make it work” moment in your miserable teen existence.

OFFER: New stylish mohawk wig-This is an item that is actually very beautiful, Its black and the middle is a deep bronze and very stylish. I went through a phase where I wanted to cut my hair and needed to see how short I wanted to go.. I never did cut my hair but I did keep the item and its never been worn.

Good for : Testing out the style, flat out getting Stylish and Club wear
Not : Halloween type

Pick up anytime..

OFFER: Boys black tuxedo shirt and jacket- Also comes with a cumber bun. Shirt says size 7 and jacket says 6, but we got both together.

WANTED: Mod/edgy Men’s sunglasses- Looking for something sporty, Oakley-ish, or even something truly outrageous
resembling a Star Trek Next Generation Jordi-visor. Doesn’t need to be an
expensive pair, or even in particularly good shape. Scratched is fine (though
of course I’d prefer to have something that doesn’t give me a headache in
sunshine!); just needs to be able to stay on my face and not look too dorky.

Need them for a modeling gig tomorrow (Thursday, 3/25) at six, so a Manhattan
pick-up would be ideal before then.

Thank you!

OFFER: Converse “Flame” sneakers- I’m offering a pair of Converse “Flame” sneakers, low not hi-top.

They’re unisex – Women’s size 8 or Men’s size 6.
Worn a few times, then sat around for a few years – my daughter didn’t like the
feel of Converse. Hope someone else can make use of them.

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The Greater Good

Any way you look at it this post is going to make me sound like a geek, but what the hell, I’ve already disclosed the WWF info so I have little to lose.

I visited my mom a couple of weeks ago and was getting the last of my boxes out of her basement.  I found lots of junk.  Bad artwork I made in high school, many remnants of single and broke living like my $2.00 tea kettle and sculptures made out of junk and twine used as apartment decor back in those days of lean living.

Amongst all these valuable objects was my collection of comic book antihero the Tick and all his cronies.  I quickly bagged it up with the full intent of Freecycling it.  I don’t remember actually buying this collection but somehow I had amassed two Tick figures, his accountant sidekick Arthur (not pictured because M kicked him under the sofa before the photo shoot), American Maid, Chairface Chippendale, Charles (AKA The Brain Child), Dynamole, Dean, El Seed, The Human Bullet, Sewer Urchin and the Caped Chameleon.

When I finished my ride down Nostalgia Boulevard, I came back and opened up the bag.  I picked up each figure, one by one and examined them carefully.  I was smiling like an idiot.  What the hell was I thinking?!  I loved the Tick.

The photos are proof that I meant to upload them into the Freecycle album for all the greedos to see what a prize they were getting from me.  The photos are further proof that I smugly wanted to prove to you dear readers, that I wasn’t just a mocker of Freecyclers Gone Wild but I was what they should aspire to be… a truly perfect Freecycle specimen who gave selflessly, had considerable powers of generosity and the ability to conquer clutter in a single bound, a tried and true protector of the landfills of the North American region.

I thought for a LONG time (just like Charles up there).  Did they really take up that much space in my tiny abode?  Would Freecycling them serve a greater purpose? I decided that my daughters needed some new toys.

Sorry comic book dorks, you ain’t getting my guys.  In the words of the immortal Tick, “Destiny’s powerful hand has made the bed of my future, and it’s up to me to lie in it.”

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Freak Tweets of The Week- # 14

Image by eMikeyCQ

• Freecycle’s full of weirdos. Spoke to guy collecting my lawnmower, he needs it for “when his wife gets shipped over from the Philippines”- by Artytypes
• Freecycle dude came and went & i’m still alive! he had weird dyed hair with bad grey roots in a Friar Tuck style… and guyliner lol!- by Artytypes
• Someone offered Disney wedding invitations on Freecycle. That’s wrong on so many levels.- by markgoodge
• Hahaha – someone on my local Freecycle group is offering “Two bags of girls clothed, 2-5” – is this legal?- by revenante
• Dude on freecycle, next time you have a Team In Training bag to give away, avoid using the achronym TIT bag to describe it.- by karaazevedo
• I need to dye some fabric tonight and will be sewing some cage liners once I get home from grabbing a SCYTHE! 😀 Yay freecycle!- by irohol15
• From Freecycle: “I am in need of a number 2 and 4 for my front door. preferably bronze.” I’m tempted to offer a brass π and a hacksaw.- by dhmorton
• Just scored some excellent wooden cars from freecycle. I love it, love it. Police, taxi, firetruck, drug dealer car, racecar.- by existere

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