Loud for the Louts

Ours

HELLLOOOOOO? CAN YOU HEAR MEEEE? JUST FOR THE RECORD, YOU FREECYCLING MASSES OUT THERE…A BULLHORN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A BULL. I WILL USE THIS CONTRAPTION TO TELL YOU, IN A WAY THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY A DIMWIT, THAT I NEED TO BE HEARD. AT AN OUTDOOR EVENT. WITHOUT ELECTRICITY. LOUDLY.

WANTED: working bull horn in rxd bxxk====Working bull horn for outdoor events that does not have to
be plugged into anything to operate, but will amplify voices.

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Freakcycle’s Brush With Green Greatness

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Yeah, take that Freecycle and stir it into your tea!  Sure you’ve had a gazillion posts written about you while we’ve been chugging along the track like The Little Engine That Could and you know what?  We are over the mountain with our train full of goodies and we’re nipping at your heels again!  Don’t fall asleep ’cause we’re coming like a thief in the night and pulling the pillow out from under your sleepy head to give to the highest bidder.

Why the bratty gloating?  We got written about by a blog called Our Daily Green.  It’s our new eco-riffic guru.

There are great articles and links about environmental concerns, tips on saving money (on gas too), eye-opening facts about the crap we dump into rivers and other bodies of water, the air, landfills, and ourselves. All good resources to make small changes for a positive impact on our personal ecological footprint.

Kim, the author of this blog can teach you a thing or two about making something out of nothing or something you wouldn’t think of using…like pantyhose cut into strips to string up your plants.  Awesome.  I’ve only used pantyhose to rob banks. I’m kidding.  Feeling a little badass today and it’s getting to my head and making me exaggerate. I only hassled bank tellers to give me my full paycheck in dollar bills.  For my addiction to cheesy strip joints.  Ooops, another fabrication. Gosh, the train is flying off the tracks and I can’t stop.

Okay, back to the ODG site. Check them out if you wanna get schooled on all things green. We’re not only writing about them because they wrote about us but we figured that since you read this blog, you must Freecycle and if you Freecycle, you’ve got some sense of our place in this fragile world and how we shouldn’t just be buying useless junk like a junkie at Target (huh?), using it for a minute or two and then dumping it in the trash.

What?  Are you surprised that under all the snarkiness, beats an honest-to-goodness heart?  It may be shriveled and black but it’s functional and yeah, we care about the environment too!  We’re not just clowns.  We’re clowns with a mission.

Thanks ODG (that’s our gangsta name for you) for sending us some blog love. Besides having a concise and well-written blog about something close to our heart, you obviously have impeccable taste in finding the funny.  We’re Justin Biebering on you too.

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You Blockhead!

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“I can’t help thinking that this would be a better world if everyone would listen to me”– Lucy Van Pelt.  Don’t worry Lucy, we always listen to you, and if you still have your psychiatrist’s booth, we have a new patient for you.

OFFER: bags of concrete-Mxxxxxxxxn- These were bags of concrete that got left in the yard and of course when they got wet they turned solid. Can be used as steppers in yard or broken up and used for decorating garden maybe? There are at least 10 of these.

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Freak Tweets of The Week- # 32

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These are the freak tweets that we didn’t post the previous Friday because we were preparing our spaceship for the Rapture.

• Seen on local freecycle “Black metal TV stand”. For a second there I thought it was something awesome- by philipnorton
• Thanks to the teenagers who so poorly toilet papered our house last night, I have two nice rolls of TP! #freecycle #FTW!- by stetsull
• “Herbal remedies” offered on Freecycle … says a lot for their effectiveness- by Ffion 1108
• I’m kinda waiting to see if I’ve secured some Freecycle wardrobes. Then I’m kinda wondering if the men in my life will collect it for me.-kate_librarian
• Freecycle is insane! So many people after our things, giving me sob stories as to why I should pick them?! This isn’t XFactor people!!- by mostlycaroline
• When I see women’s clothes being given away by a guy on Freecycle I wonder if he’s disposing of evidence, or has just stopped X-dressing.- by CymruBoyo

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Give Us a Hand, Willya?

Or if you’d rather not clap, do the finger-snapping poetry thing because you know we’re cool cats.  We wrestled with posting this in our Gallery of Gives and Gets because while we did not get these beauties on Freecycle, we certainly got these for free.  Yup, at a yard sale.  I was at this particular sale for about 20 minutes or so and noticed shoppers walked by this box of hands with a look of horror on their face.

These are high-quality, highly detailed rubber hands that were salvaged from the dump.  They came from a doctor’s office, not a CostumeCity store or ExtremeHalloween. No one wanted them except lil’ ol’ me and since it was my friend Sue’s yard sale, she sent me home with this box.  I love her.

We can justify posting this if we cut you off a piece of the action, though.  On the comments section, leave the most imaginative use for these hands in the form of a Freecycle request  (no Halloween decoration suggestions…too obvious) and we’ll send you one via snail mail.  Contest ends on June 3rd so hurry and get your handy posts in!

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Revisiting Freakcycle’s Wish List- Apocalypse Style

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Just because we’re quite comfortable using the sarcasm stick to make fun of Freecycling buffoons does not mean that we don’t have wants, needs, and desires that are worthy of a guffaw or two.

The Internet Gods say that in order to give good blog, you must be able to be vulnerable, put yourself out there a bit, and give personal and compelling information from time to time in order to connect and grab your readers.

Here it is people…wait for it, waiit for it…

We’re greedy bastards.  That’s it.

Okay, we love puppies and unicorns too, but that’s for a post-Rapture post, if we’re not chosen to ascend. (Please God, take us, they know about the unicorn stuff now).

We figured heck, since the end of the world is upon us, why not hover opportunistically over the Freecycle forums like a circle of vultures over a 3 day-old whistle-pig corpse? We stand just as good a chance as anyone of getting a few of the items on our wish list since the end of the world is upon us, no?

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Yaaahh Freecycle!

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I didn’t think it would ever happen but it finally farkkin’ly has!  Freecycle is volleying one to their darker, stranger, and dare we say more interesting compadre Freakcycle.  Yes.

We’ve documented many petty jealousies, competitions, and grumblings about our world-recognized nemesis but one of their moderators is tossing us a biscuit…tiny, stale and a tad gnawed around the edges but thank you Freecycle all the same.  

All you Debbie Downers on Freecycle, quit your bellysniping about used catheters, tires, grandma’s old teeth and peculiar animal bits. Someone besides us wants them too.  

Hi everyone,

i’m sure many people had thoughts about used underwear, whether
privately or publicly. i’d like to ask that we move past this and
also ask that people report problems to the mods–there’s no need to
argue on the message board.

We are a large, diverse group in one of the world’s largest and most
diverse cities. We are united by our desire to see less waste in our
city, and our ability to maintain this gifting system relies on our
ability to be respectful towards one another.

With regard to what’s appropriate to post or not, we all have our
limits on what we’ll reuse. Every post about underwear reaps a
few “ewww” comments to the mods, but i’ve seen ’em on sale in thrift
stores and i know a lot of ladies on this list appreciate the bras
that are given away (they’re expensive)! In the same way one might
see a taxidermied animal as offensive while another sees it as a
kitschy stage prop, let’s understand that we all have needs and
limits. If you don’t want it, skip over it, but if it can be reused
and help someone out, is it for us to judge?

Yes, there are things that are inappropriate for this list–drugs,
adult movies, etc and the mods work to enforce those rules. But if
our goal is to reduce the enormity of Nxx Xxxx’s waste, let’s foster,
not stifle that mission.

Thanks!

cxxxxxxxa
(a moderator)

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Keeping Up With The Hatfields

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OFFER: 2 lawn ornaments that seem to me to look like 32″ TVs. Been on the curb at the foot of my neighbor’s driveway for 3 months now…just…sitting…there.
Free to a loving family. A great addition to any hillbilly yard or home! Feel free to come by and just look as well.

Thanks to Jaimee for submitting via Fans of Freakcycle on facebook.

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Making The Long Shot

Image by unsure shot

I know we’re stretching the pun thing a bit with the diabetic test strips because technically the machine that takes those strips is a lancet thingy and not really a shot-giver like those lovely hypodermics. What about the sake?  Am I the only one who does sake shots?  Will Freakcycle be deluged with Tokkuri purists?

WANTED: Rifle Scope – Hi i know its a long shot but im just wondering has anyone a rifle scope there not using, it would be great, thanks”

WANTED: Digital camera- I know it’s a long shot, but I have been through 2 digital cameras in the past year and can’t imagine being w/o one (I love to take pics of my two little ones). Just thought I’d check here first on the off chance that someone has one they are looking to replace or one they do not use. Thanks for looking!! =) M

WANTED: Shot put-Probably a long shot, but looking for a Shot Put.

WANTED: Diabetic Testing Strips for One Touch Ultra-My Mom is in the process of having her testing strips and other supplies mailed to her (which Medicare will supposedly cover) but she is close to running out of them at this time. I’m hoping there may be someone out there that no longer needs their in date testing strips due
to a change in prescription. It’s a long shot but it doesn’t hurt to try! (hee, hee!) She is using the One Touch Ultra Code 30 and would appreciate any help. Willing to travel to the surrounding areas.  Thank you!

WANTED:“The scent of sake” (book)-hazletThis may be a long shot. I have misplaced my library book, and before I buy a
new one to replace…maybe someone has a copy laying around. The author is Joyce Lebler (sp) “The scent of sake” soft cover preferred, although hard cover is appreciated too. Thanks for looking!

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All Bling, No Thing

Image by Nicora

WANTED: The BlackBerry Curve 8530 phone

Date: June 7, 2010 1:02:12 PM EDT

Hi. This is a long shot but looking for a BlackBerry Curve 8530 phone. I have the Storm & it is not working good & would like to switch to a Curve phone. Please email me!! Thank you!

Saw the post above and thought, hmmm, maybe we should save this one for our “Choosy Beggars” category and so I set it aside.  What makes this one worthy of that fine distinction is that they are asking for a specific and fairly new model BlackBerry.  Most Freecyclers with their feet firmly planted on terra firma a.k.a. reality will usually word their request as follows (these are all actual FC posts we saved):

• WANTED: ATT cell phone- dog ate mine-UGH!!

or:

• WANTED: Sprint Cell Phone- Hello,I am in need of a Sprint cell phone.  My Blackberry fell off the sink into the, you got it, the toilet!!  I didnot have the insurance on it.  If anyone has a Sprint phone they are no longer using, please please, let me know.  I will put it to good use and never leave it in the bathroom again!!  Thanks for looking….

A bit dramatic yes, maybe even stretching the truth but like we’ve mentioned on Freakcycle before, sob stories work on us, the gullible Freecylers that we are.

Why did we post the time on that Curve phone request?  Because a couple of hours after posting their first WANTED, they came back with the one below.  A BlackBerry Storm is just as good as the Curve even when “it is not working good”, right? Solution…Bling blao…bling it out.

WANTED:Rhinestone/any cool blackberry storm 9530 phone covers. :

Date: June 7, 2010 3:20:56 PM EDT

Hi I’m looking for a rhinestone phone cover for my Blackberry Storm. If u have any other cool storm phone covers that will be good too. Email me please! Thanks!

Brilliant (not a pun).

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