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Posts Tagged ‘Freecycle Funnies’

parrothornOurs

HELLLOOOOOO? CAN YOU HEAR MEEEE? JUST FOR THE RECORD, YOU FREECYCLING MASSES OUT THERE…A BULLHORN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A BULL. I WILL USE THIS CONTRAPTION TO TELL YOU, IN A WAY THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY A DIMWIT, THAT I NEED TO BE HEARD. AT AN OUTDOOR EVENT. WITHOUT ELECTRICITY. LOUDLY.

WANTED: working bull horn in rxd bxxk====Working bull horn for outdoor events that does not have to
be plugged into anything to operate, but will amplify voices.

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Image by jmilles
  • Dear #freecycle people: If you can’t spell wanted correctly, the only thing I want to give you is a dictionary #jussayin-ADDhousewife
  • Freecycle, also known as “take this shit off my porch please” cycle.- by Ryanne
  • [Missoula-Freecycle] OFFER: broken dishes
  • LOL, someone is trying to get rid of a Betamax player on #freecycle. Dude, you waited too long.- by paperelle
  • Wannabe Freecycle member comment: “I’m interested in guns can I take a look at your group Please.” Sure, but you can’t ask for guns.- by alwen_lost-arts
  • #freecycle #Ikidyounot OFFER – fireguard for keeping children out of fire (Frome)- by snowballthrower

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Image by Sue

We literally are in disbelief at why we would put these three masterpieces together. Nothing in common except the extraneous use of literally, not always correctly but literally, almost correct.  Still with us?  We list them for you accurate and precise, just as they were written, typos and all, a faithful representation of what was written, verbatim: a literal translation:following or representing exactly what these Freecycle kook jobs wrote…word for word.  Literally.  We could go on and on here but literally, we’re out of synonyms.

WANTED: Water bath canner- I have literary worn out the insert for my canner. If you have just the insert that would be fine. If you have the whole canner that would be wonderful. I can pick up at your convenience.


WANTED: Twin bed- I know a boy that is sleeping on a bed where the bedsprings literally poke
holes in his shirts. If anyone has a bed and ideally sheets, I know he
would love the surprise.


WANTED: Mans Pants- Casual, khaki, cargos, jeans, nothing fancy. Husband has lost quite alot of weight and his pants are literally falling off!  34 or 36 inch waist would be great! Quick pick up.  Thanks so much for reading!

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Image by trixie

WANTED: Im an aspiring Fashion Designer about to do my first show and I need all types of clothes, dressy, casual, and eveningwear. From sizes 10 children, through adult small, medium, large and extra large.  ANY help greatly appreciated. Thank You

Love the honesty.  Read between those lines…It says, ” Woo child, I’m tired and can’t put together my Fall/Winter 2010 collection because I am a lazy mofo with not one stitch of creativity so please send me your muumuus, cruddy Uggs, Grandpa’s fly fishing vest, your daughter’s Dora The Explorer pajamas, some bedsheets, and ooh, throw in those Terminator sunglasses while you’re at it.  I’ll put together a Rodarte-inspired fashion extravaganza the likes of which Women’s Wear Daily ain’t never seen and will probably never see again.  ANY help greatly appreciated so seamstresses and tailors in the Freecycling community, don’t be shy and give me a shout.  I’ll put you to work.”

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Image by prettydaisies

OFFER: “Bongers” massage tools-Not really sure how you’d describe these. They’re intended to be used for Shiatsu-type massage and claim to cure everything from cellulite to headaches.

In good condition except one may have slight dog drool on it from when my dog thought it looked like a fun toy.

See picture – http://bit.ly/bakWKU

If interested email me your availability to pick up in the west xxs after 5 pm

on Sunday or after 7 pm on Monday.

As always no flakers please.

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We don’t have to be just a blog, you know.  We can give the people what they want. Take these two posts for instance.  Should we arrange a pickup?

Image by deepwarren

WANTED:Greetings group,Children grow and it is time for my princess to have her own bed. Right now we have a Queen air mattress that has the dual sides. As soon as I am blessed with the mattress sets that I need, I will offer up what we have.

I would greatly appreciate sets that do not have any breaks in the frame or stains (such as from body fluids, people or animals) that I can not clean out completely.

If you have one size and not the other, that is okay. That brings me closer to what I need. I would greatly appreciate your help. Thank you.

Respectfully,

Maria

OFFER: I have a used decent mattress, has a juice stain on one side and I tried to clean it out but just made it bigger. Yikes.  Its pinkish so you know it isnt body fluid.
No funny smells….Non smoking home.– submitted by Pantera Rocks on our Fans of Freakcycle page.

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Image by Stinkie Pinkie

Freakcycle has a Facebook page and so does the Freecycle Network.  Freakcycle’s got 34 fans and the Freecyle Network has 21,957 fans.  Needless to say, we have a bit of catching up to do.

Are they funnier than us?  Maybe not.   But they are do-gooders and we like that. We are make-fun-of-ers and do they like that?  We dunno, but we like it.  What we do share is a love for recycling and a good laugh from time to time.

Two things you need to do.  Check out their Freecycle Funnies section because well, there’s some silly stuff on there and we picked out three of the standouts to share and while you’re on there, fan us up on Facebook because we need some help bringing our numbers up. We’re taking you on, big ol’ Freecycle Network with your 21,957 fans…watch your back!

  • WANTED: MEAN Baby Sitter–I am looking for a MEAN Baby Sitter–For Ungrateful 16y/o (boy), 8y/o (boy) and 5y/o (girl)… See More–Needed Mondays in my home from 3pm to 6pm.–Please Email Fed Up MOM ASAP for more information.–This Is Not a Joke…I’ll Pay for your time.–Fed Up Mom Sharon– posted by Paula who said the post was later removed.- on Freecycle Funnies
  • Available for immediate pick up. One king size New Years Eve hangover in like new condition – tender, shiny and brite. Works great with lots of life left in it! This is very large and heavy, you will need 2-3 people and a full size pick up truck or large SUV to move it. I will not be able to help you due to a recent Tequila injury. Please state day and time in your reply as preference will be given to the earliest pick up. Please come to the side door and knock quietly. Previous no shows need not reply!  Happy New Year! 🙂 posted by Gail C. on Freecycle Funnnies- Facebook
  • OFFER: Attitude–My 14 year old has an attitude that I would love to get rid of. If you want it, I will bag it, box it and be happy to get rid of it. Also comes with eye rolling, door slamming, stomping and an almost new extra set that my 12 year old needs to get rid of. Thank you.– posted by Crystal on Freecyle Funnies——–Moderators Note: I know this isn’t a legit Freecycle Post, but it was so cute I thought you might get a good chuckle from it…if you like this offer, I have an 11 yr old one to go with these two, lol.

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